Put Your Virgins on Display Today

Abstinence-only-until-marriage programs have been consistently supported by the federal government since the 1981 Reagan Administration. With over $1.677 billion allotted for abstinence-only education since the year 1996, it has been proved again and again to be ineffective, looking at the teen pregnancy statistics for the United States alone over the years continuing to rise.

Refusing to accept that this type of education is not going to work, Republicans and the Christian majority have another scheme up their sleeves to brainwash young girls--Father-Daughter Purity Balls.

These pledges for virginity are formal events that depict more of what your wedding should look like than anything else. Young girls are dressed up like porcelain dolls and the fathers are in standard, formal male attire, ready to put their precious, little virgins on display.

The Father-Daughter Purity Balls, sponsored by the Colorado Springs' Generations of Light Ministries, have been held for the past four years and other cities are starting to get in on the action. No longer will girls have to carry the burden of making their own decisions or finding a boyfriend whom is willing to sit down and create boundaries together as a couple. From now on, the girl's fathers are saying "Don't worry, honey, I'm going to make that decision for you. No sex until marriage!" And not only that, but it's not because "I said so", it's because "God said so".

I must admit that, yes, fathers would like this kind of authority, in fact, most would like to say you're not having sex or getting married. Period. However, if you put God into the mix and basically say "Hey, you're going to hell if you don't do this." girls are more likely to comply out of fear.

Most of the girls that can be seen pictured on the official website and seen in videos, don't look old enough to even know how to begin to have the "sex talk" or understand what comes with the responsibility of your own sexuality. In fact, they look old enough to be persuaded to go to one of these events because they were told they got to dress up in big, flowing gowns and eat cake. What young girl doesn't want to dress up in tulle and eat cake? Better yet, some can even be young enough to be considered hardcore Sesame Street fans. In fact, I think this little girl needed help with the big words in her script.

What these events are really saying is "If you really love your father, you will dress up, do an interpretive dance, read words off of a script that is provided for you, so you don't even have to go through the task of coming up with your own words that describe how you, as a person, feel, and make a commitment you are not yet old enough to understand." And in return, your father pledges a commitment to protect you as you get the overwhelming feeling that because you did this, you have now validated your father's love for you, which should come without a commitment or public event...or tulle.

Here's the dad's script: "I, (daughter's name)'s father, choose before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity. I will be pure in my own life as a man, husband and father. I will be a man of integrity and accountability as I lead, guide and pray over my daughter and as the high priest in my home. This covering will be used by God to influence generations to come."

OK, "high priest?" While that would certainly delight the egos of men everywhere, the last I heard, women were sort of considered equal to men? Sort of? Maybe?

For the girls attending these events who are old enough to understand what they are doing and have already hit puberty, after some research, it seems that these girls are so sheltered from life by their families and from how the real world works that after a few years, when they go to college away from home, and are away from their parent's house, they're going to be in for a big surprise. They may not like what that big, bad world out there has to offer them.

When first reading about these events and watching this video, in particular, a very strong feeling overwhelmed me. After doing some more research about how others viewed these events, I was disturbed to find out that I was not alone.

An 11-year-old girl for the Ministries said: "The moment I put my hand in my father's, I felt like a princess. In those six precious hours, I believe I grew in relationship with my father more than I ever have. I knew it was my night, and I treasured every minute of it."

Lynn Harris of Broadsheet says it herself: "I probably don't have to spell this out for you, but replace the word "father" with "boyfriend" (or, to be charitable, "new husband") and ... eeuw."

Even more so, this is what a father had to say about his Purity Ball experiences: "How can you measure the value of your eleven-year-old looking up into your eyes (as you clumsily learn the fox-trot together) with innocent, uncontainable joy, saying, 'Daddy, I'm so excited! It is impossible to convey what I have seen in their sweet spirits, their delicate, forming souls, as their daddy takes them out for their first, big dance. Their whole being absorbs my loving attention, resulting in a radiant sense of self-worth and identity. Think of it from their perspective: My daddy thinks I'm beautiful in my own unique way. My daddy is treating me with respect and honor. My daddy has taken time to be silly, and even made a fool of himself, learning how to dance. My daddy really loves me!"

So, even if these events weren't ridiculous enough, we can now add Christian cover-up for pedo-fathers to the benefits of what these events bring. I feel safer already.

It is fantastic to see over 30 years of the women's movement go back more than 30 years to say a girls' worth and value as a person is only determined by their sexuality. But hey, maybe it's my morals that are corrupt and the Christian majority is just fine in brainwashing even grown women into believing that women were created "in order to feel accepted by men."

Women are just going to have to learn to live their entire lives by contact. First to their fathers and to God saying that they are going to remain pure even when they are old enough to understand how to conduct themselves and take that responsibility over their own sexuality, but again when they do find a husband and sign that life-long marital contact.

Eve Ensler, the author of The Vagina Monologues, and activist, criticized Purity Balls and the position of inferiority it puts girls in: "When you sign a pledge to your father to preserve your virginity, your sexuality is basically being taken away from you until you sign yet another contract, a marital one...It makes you feel like you're the least important person in the whole equation. It makes you feel invisible."

And I really couldn't have said that better myself.