Putting a Child to Bed with Ease

Every night my daughter has trouble going to bed, and every night my husband and I are trying to help our baby girl get to sleep.

The routine happens night after night, "Mommy", "Mommy", "Mommmmyyyyy!!!" The requests are relentless and ever changing, "Potty?" (No sweeties, you JUST did that!), "Teeth?" (Sweetheart, Daddy let you brush your teeth once already and Mommy unknowingly let you brush your teeth again. I do not think your teeth need to be ANYMORE clean!) "Juice?" "Milk?" "Water?" (I reply with silence) "Mommy" "Mommy?" "Mommmyyyyyy!!" "Daddy?" "Daddy?" (Yes, Sweetheart. What do you want?) "Mommy?" "Mommy?" Then my husband comes to our room and says, "Sweetheart, I think our daughter wants you?"

I cannot count the number of time this occurs in our household. Over & over again, the same requests along with tears and temper-tantrums. As a former nanny before my child bearing years, one would think I would know how to handle something like this. Yet, the solution didn't seem to be easy. A schedule? Yes, a very strict and rigid schedule would offer our daughter enormous security and comfort. This would probably give her the comfort she needed to go to bed happily & without tears. The problem is I am too spontaneous and to some extent I detest schedules (although when I am actually on it, I have found that my body and soul thank me. There IS a lot of peace to be had on a good schedule.) So, I struggle with giving her some sense of a schedule and at the same time maintaining my sanity.

Night after night, I think to myself, "There has to be something else I can try. I know that a schedule would help but I think something is missing." I search the internet to no avail. All of the advice is common advice and most of it includes things I have been doing. Did you offer your child water? check. Make sure she played hard during the day so she is worn out and ready to rest? check (This author really would have never been able to fathom the amount of energy MY child has!) Create and maintain a consistent bedtime routine? check. Put the baby to bed at the same time every night? check. What else is there for me to do? I have TRIED everything. My daughter goes down great for naps, but nighttime is more of a struggle.

Tonight, a light bulb went off. It was an "Ah Hah!" moment. Those moments that seem magical when the whole world seems to make sense. I cuddled my little girl and just as I was getting ready to lay her down to bed, I saw her doll. A flashback of when I was a child came back to me. It all made sense. Perhaps why she struggles to get to sleep is it is ALL about HER getting to bed. Perhaps she needs to readjust her focus onto someone else. By expanding her world to include someone else beyond herself, the selfish and incessant whining would probably decrease. So I told her that mommy could no longer cuddle her, but her baby doll needed her. Her baby doll can't sleep and wants to cuddle her. I asked my daughter, "Would you help her sleep?" and I relayed all of the things her dolly needed that my daughter usually asks us for to help her go to bed. My daughter smiled a big, beautiful grin and I knew my plan worked.

Tonight, what did I hear. Did I hear the constant whining? No, I heard the squeaky voice of a little doll asking her mommy to help put her to bed. Peace had come at last!