Q&A: You

Me: Why do you hat me?
You: You mean hate?

Me: No, hat.
You: Well I hate you because you're a jerk. I hat you because I don't like your hair.

Me: Jerk? :[
You: Yes. You're a huge jerk with ugly hair. And that's why I hat/hate you.

Me: That's just your opinion. I think you hat me because my hair is pretty and yours is well...thin.
You: No darling your hair is just an example of how I feel about your overall look which is not very pleasing to most eyes. You are told that you are "pretty" or whatever so that you could feel good about yourself. My opinion, however, should matter most to you because I may never talk to you again therefore I can be brutally honest.

Me: Or just brutal apparently :[ I think you're the jerk.
You: Nope, you are.

Me: In what ways?
You: You don't let things go, first of all. And you seem to put people on blast...

Me: Ghetto much?
You: Let me finish before you start bashing me. You always put people on blast for their faults just to make you feel better about yourself. Anyone with common sense knows it takes a less than stellar mind to become a drug addict but you don't have to make them cry over it!! We all know that herpes and warts are disgusting but you don't have to write poetry demeaning people who suffer with it every day of their lives! Just because Sodexho is a filthy company doesn't mean you have to trash the entire industry for being dirty!

Me: If you knew what I know about restaurant kitchens, you'd feel the same way. Most of the people in the back are unbelievably dirty. Sodexho is just a good example because they are by far the worst. And as far as the STD monsters, well yeah they have it bad enough being stuck with their itchiness for the rest of their lives and there's really nothing they could do about it but cry which is sad...for them. Addicts on the other hand are curable and are responsible for their own problems which could expire by them just saying "NO." So they deserve my ridicule more than the STDizzle "victims."
You: Noone deserves it.

Me: Noone? Apparently grammar isn't your specialty bby, Stick to potatoes.
You: Potatoes? Hmm that's fun coming from someone who failed in the culinary industry.

Me: Ouch. You don't seem much nicer than me. What right do you have to call me a jerk?
You: You deserve it.

Me: Didn't you just say "noone" deserves it? Make up your mind sweet cheeks.
You: You're not very bright are you?

Me: I never claimed to be and by the way what did you mean by "you don't let things go?"
You: I mean when someone makes a mistake, you don't let it go. Like when your brother...

Me: You mean the thief?
You: You remind him about it constantly.

Me: Well he stole money directly out of my wallet, then denied it, until finally admitting it. I think we can both agree that he's the real jerk in all of this.
You: Well...

Me: I'm glad you agree :)

I'M GLAD YOU ALL AGREE!!