Qualities of a Great Dating & Relationships Expert

Hannah
What made me think of writing this article was all the articles on dating and relationships I have read on AC. Unfortunately, there are just as many bad articles as there are good. So, it stimulated me to write about what are the qualities of a great dating and relationship expert. Let's take a look at what qualities they should have before they call themselves experts!

Lots of Life Experience-

The longer someone has experienced life the more they know about it. Let's face it, someone who's been around forty or fifty years probably knows a little more about relationships than that of their younger counterpart. Remember we're talking expert here, not just some knowledge. It takes a long time to really figure out what makes relationships tick. The more you do something the better you get at it. Yes, by the time your over fifty, you either know what a very long marriage is like, or you've been through a few divorces and a lot of dating along the way. Either way, you can proudly say, you have many years of experience when it comes to relationships. So, life experience can be one of the most important qualities when it comes to calling your self expert in this field.

Education-

It' not just life experience that counts, although that's a good start. Education enhances and fine tunes the knowledge of life you may already have. Why is this important? Experiencing relationships, is different from knowing the psychology of how relationships work. For one to give advice as a lot of dating and relationship experts do, they must be able to answer the why of relationships. Knowing how they work, why they don't and how men and women tend to feel about certain issues, this is an important factor in giving the best advice one can. Again, not just from personal experience but from the stance of what men and women and their relationships are all about. Yes, a good well rounded education especially in the psychology, social sciences, or counseling field goes all long way toward being an expert.

Compassionate, Caring and Empathetic-

An expert, especially in the field that deals with lots of volatile emotions, betrayals, beginnings, endings, and numerous other issues, has to be compassionate, caring, and empathetic. Empathy is number one here. Remember, empathy is the ability to put your self in someone else's shoes and understand how they may be feeling. If they don't have this one, don't even bother with the other two, as empathy is a prerequisite to both. They must care about what their doing. If they are just doing it to feel superior and gain notoriety, then they shouldn't be dealing with people's relationships. Compassion is needed in this field because so many people have gone through so much., If they can't be compassionate toward someone's horror stories, they most certainly should not be working with people, or giving advice at all.

A Strong Willingness To Help-

Really wanting to help someone is different than just getting paid for it. When it comes from the heart, people know it, and the expert shows it. They go out of their way to answer hard and sometimes heart breaking questions. They have an innate quality to either help that person themselves, or get them to someone that can. Either way they have a willingness to help those who can't help themselves. Many times it's not about the money, but a satisfaction in knowing they helped, and possibly added to the solution of the problem.

Yes, being an expert In the Dating and Relationship field requires a lot of life experience, a good education, an empathy and caring for others, and a true desire to help others. So, the next time you decide to call yourself an dating and relationship expert, and give that needed advice, first ask you yourself, "Do I really have The Right Stuff?"

Published by Hannah

I am a former child & family counselor, and now retired. I am proud to be a U.S Air Force Vietnam Era Veteran. I enjoy writing articles on Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and much more! I hope you...  View profile

2 Comments

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  • guest guest9/17/2009

    It's true when reading advice from others, you really need to consider the source. However, I think what's also important is being able to trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, if what this person is saying goes against your morals or values, you need to trust what your intuition is telling you. I think a lot of people get in trouble (women especially)because they don't trust their gut. It's possible someone could be reacting due to fear of change, but I think people can usually tell the difference between the two. I've read some books in the past by so-called relationship "experts" that I found to be very misguided and in some cases, unethical. I didn't follow their advice no matter how much experience they had.

  • David A. Reinstein, LCSW9/17/2009

    Always best to consider the source... all opinion is certainly not created equally!

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