Quarter Life Crisis

Get Married, have a baby, go party, finish school, go back to school, date around….What do you do when you hit 25? You panic. At least that's what I'm doing, I've got 4 months before I hit 25 and all these thoughts keep swirling in my head. Do I need to start wearing business suits? Can I still wear my hair in pigtails? Do I look immature with blue nail polish? What if my boyfriend wants a Mohawk can he do that? Should I trade in my pickup for a Volvo?

The hardest thing is to decide what to do at this stage. Do you go ahead and grow up and finish becoming the adult your on your way to being? Or do you stall and back up and try to recapture the fun loving days of being 18? Fresh out of high school, no credit card debt, no push to get married and start having kids. No ones looking at you saying "Don't you have a career yet? Why aren't you two married? Why are you still single?" Ah the questions!

What's so wrong with still being undecided? Don't you still have your whole life ahead of you? We are so young and so old at the same time. Your best friend from high school is still single and dating around, partying, going clubbing and having a good old time. Your friend from college who's your age is married and starting a family.
This is such an awkward time; it's as if puberty is back only you don't have as much acne. This in between time is not something to stress about as much as you may want to. It's a good time to re-evaluate your life and the decisions you've made so far. Don't plunge into marriage just because Mom's asking why you haven't settled down. Don't have a child just so that you keep pace with your friends. These decisions are all life changing and should not be made lightly or quickly. The truth is we are in the in-between stage and crossing over doesn't happen over night, it takes time. If you're lucky you won't even notice when it finally happens.
One of the biggest pressures seems to be marriage. I have yet to figure out why parents and loved ones insist on asking the "why aren't you married yet?" question so often. It's very stressful to have your love life taken into this overly analytical state so often and questioned. Its as if being in love and being happy isn't enough for them, you have to take that final leap for them to be satisfied….that is until they start the push for you to have children.

What's worse is that you don't really care if your married right now or next year but once they start asking those questions you start to doubt yourself. Why aren't I married? What's wrong with me? They ask about your career, about why you haven't been promoted. The endless questions that make us feel crazy. The fast food mentality of having everything NOW instead of later is turning young people into stressed out, frazzled and frantic individuals.

What happened to enjoying life a little? I want to go dancing and travel around the world before I buy a house and get married. Exploration and indecisiveness aren't bad things, they show you don't jump to conclusions or make rash decisions.

Its ok to take your time deciding what career you want and it's also ok to change your mind. Things aren't set in stone the way they once were, its ok to change fields and majors. Not marrying the first or second person you fall in love with is ok to. It takes time to find the right one and once you find them if it's really meant to last why rush the marriage? Do it when you ready, not when everyone else is ready to. Marriage isn't going anywhere, it will still be available in six months. I promise. Remember your friends are having the same crisis you are, they are just handling theirs differently.

If you haven't doubted yourself before the birthday shows up don't start now. Its perfectly normal to analyze where your life is at and to evaluate your goals; but, if your happy with your life don't let your upcoming birthday ruin it…that's what the mid life crisis is for.