Queen of the Elementary School

Although most people don't know this, I had royalty bestowed me at a young age. Yes, the picture above was me in one of my many years being crowned Queen of my elementary school. Oh, yeah, the guy with me was crowned King, too, but let him tell his own story.

Being one of my many claims to fame, there was a time I thought this might look good on a resume, but I've discovered most potential employers aren't all that impressed with the fact that you've once held the royal title. It does make your resume stand out a little though, I must say.

This pageant was one of three that I was to win. I wish I could say it was for talent or beauty, both of which I felt overly endowed with, but I would be lying. These fall festivals were an ingenious method our small rural school had devised to raise money, something that was not very generous in our poor school district. The Queen and King were crowned on the basis of which class raised the most money in a few given weeks. Since I had the unfair advantage of having grandparents who owned a local restaurant in town, my buddy and I were pretty much shoe-ins each year.

My grandmother would take a picture of me and paste it on the side of a Mason jar which she would then place on the counter close to the register. My mother worked in the restaurant also, and that meant that the customers saw me on a regular basis. Needless to say, they were suckers waiting to be plucked for a dollar here and there. Before you knew it, my cohort and I would have a sizeable chunk of change, and with the money raised by the other begging members of my grade, we were bestowed the honor of the school.

My mother finally put the kibosh on the whole thing when she told me to let someone else have a chance to hold the title. Not being the gracious type, I countered with the fact that if my friends wanted me to be Queen, she should let me. That was one of those moments we have as children. You know, the one where the moment the words fly out of your mouth, you knew you'd made a mistake. Mother got that "I'll show you" look that always meant trouble, and needless to say, that was the last time I served in my royal capacity.

But like any person who's been able to serve in a capacity of leadership, I feel honored to have been blessed with the title. In fact, I feel these experiences have helped me become the person I am today. So when someone tells me I love being the center of attention, I tell them to blame the people in my little school. Oh, yeah, and then I ask them for a dollar.