Question Your Emotions During Foreclosure

Foreclosure isn't just about the technical details of missed payments, default notices, attempted mortgage modifications, trustee sales, and the overall financial impact on an individual. Being forced into a position where losing your home one way or another is inevitable also has a deep, distinctly human impact that cannot be discounted or ignored. You're human, after all, and we have a lot of emotional ties to the places where we live and make memories. Here are a few thoughts on how you can look at the situation more objectively, and hopefully reduce the stress and negative emotions that often result in a situation like this.

Fear of the Unknown

The most common emotion experienced during the process of a foreclosure is fear. And usually that fear stems from not knowing what to expect. If you think that you could be thrown out of your home onto the street at any time, that is understandably going to create some stress in your life. Fortunately, the reality is that foreclosure is an orderly process. There are always specific notices and time periods required before a foreclosure sale can take place. And even after the sale, it can often take weeks or months before you have to vacate the property. Provided you do your homework or work with an expert in the process, you shouldn't really have any surprises, and most likely will have ample time to work out other living arrangements.

Home Ownership As The "American Dream"?

In our society, home ownership has often been equated with the "American Dream". But is owning a home really what the American Dream is all about? After all, this presumption has been promoted by businesses and institutions that rely on healthy home sales and property tax revenue. The truth is that these organizations benefit far more from individual home ownership than the individuals often do, and that is doubly true in the current economic environment.

Self-Worth & Home Ownership

Unfortunately, this perception for many people has led to the tying of home ownership to one's personal feeling of self-worth or accomplishment. The prospect of losing that home, therefore, can have a catastrophic impact emotionally. You start worrying about what the neighbors will say, or what friends and family will think of you. If your sense of self-worth is tied to your home, it's easy to get depressed and become less capable of handling the situation.

The truth is that you and your persona are not your house. It's just a place to put your stuff, which incidentally is also not you. The moment you can let go of your house (and your stuff) as your identity, you can experience a great deal more freedom in life. Freedom from fear, stress, and from a financial burden that it turns out you can't afford at present.

Making Foreclosure A Positive

While it's certainly inconvenient to have to move, it's so critical to remember that this is nothing more than a temporary setback from which you can and will recover. Ask yourself honestly: even if you could figure out a way to hold onto your home, is it worth barely scraping by and living a scarce existence in order to do so?

In my humble opinion, the American Dream is not about home ownership and the self-imposed imprisonment it can often be, but about freedom to live your life the way you'd like to. It's about creating experiences that home ownership, frankly, might stand in the way of having. Take this situation as an opportunity to recreate your life, and you might find in retrospect that this was a positive life experience after all.