Questions to Ask Your Fiance Before You Get Married

How well do you really know your Fiance? The old saying, "Love at First Site", might be great a theme for a romance book, but not so exciting once your married. You might find out you and your spouse aren't even on the same page.

There are some very important key issues that arise once you say, " I do". These issues can make or break a marriage. Having a drastic difference of opinion, could potentially end up in a divorce. You are going to be spending the rest of your life with someone. Isn't it a good idea to find out, how they think your life together will be spent?

Money, yes I said Money. Finances are an extremely important topic. According to numerous studies, money and finances are the number one reason for divorce and fighting in marriages. Who will pay the bills and manage income, once you are married? Do you plan to have a joint account, or separate accounts? Will you consider the income you both make, to be yours, mine or ours? Do you budget your money, or buy as you go? If your used to living on a strict budget, and your new spouse has never budgeted a penny in their life, that might be a potential problem. It might seem shallow right now, since your only concern is marrying the person of your dreams. But if you don't ask the right questions, your dreams might just turn into nightmares.

I'm sure many couples already have explored the idea of having children. How many do you want? When do you want to start trying to have a baby? These are all valid questions, but there are more you should be asking. How does your fiance feel about a stay at home mom? Would she prefer to stay home after having kids? Does she want to continue to work? How will you manage one income if your wife stays home? How will you feel if your wife doesn't want to stay home? There are no wrong answers to any of those questions, but you do need to ask them. It is best to know ahead of time, how your future husband or wife feels.

Religion is a topic that you and your partner needs to chat about too. What faith were you raised? Is religion important to you? What do you believe? Will you go to my church, or will we go to yours? If he believes in God and you don't, how will you handle that situation? Let us not forget, down the road when you have children. What religious beliefs will you teach them? I once knew a married couple that actually agreed when it came to God and religion. They had the same basic beliefs. But a huge problem arose when his wife went to see a psychic. When she told him, he actually threatened to divorce her. They had talked about their beliefs, but had never talked about psychics in relationship to religious beliefs. The point is you never know what specific things are going to come up in a marriage. With that in mind, try to be specific about things you believe, and don't believe. Tell the truth about what you expect from your partner, and don't forget to ask what your partner expects from you.

Now that we have talked about religion, next comes politics. Yes we are discussing the two things your mother told you to never talk about. Are you a democrat or a republican? Do you even follow politics? Can you agree to disagree, if you do not see eye to eye? It might not seem like a big deal, if you don't agree when it comes to politics. But believe me, there have been many fights over dealing with this exact subject. You might not even realize your differences until an election year. When that time rolls around, many couples are surprised to find out what their partners ideas are. I know a couple that had a huge problem when it came to politics. It was an election year. They found out they had a huge difference of opinion. They didn't even come close, to having the same thoughts about who our new president should be. They actually got in such a heated argument, that they didn't speak to each other for days. Now just because you don't agree on something, doesn't mean you have to fight about it. You can both easily just agree, to disagree.

The next topic you might find very hard and sensitive to talk about. Keep in mind you are going to be married to this person. You are going to know each other in a way no one else can. You need to discuss it, no matter how hard it might be at first. The topic is pornography and things of that nature. You might be asking yourself why. Well I will tell you that some people share very different opinions. A couple I know had a very serious incident regarding this matter. They had only been married a couple of months when it happened. The wife was taking back a movie her and her husband had watched. It wasn't an X rated movie, just your typical run of the mill flick. She grabbed the movie, which was in the box, and dropped it off at the video store. When the man at the counter opened it he got a big surprise, and so did she. It was an X rated film. She had no idea that her new husband even watched those. They had never discussed that topic before. She was devastated and embarrassed. She found something out about her husband she never knew. It was something that she did not condone at all. She had very strong feelings against it. She took it as a personal insult. It extremely hurt her feelings. Her and her husband were thrown into a very uncomfortable position. They did work things out, and each had an opportunity to express how they felt. If they had discussed things before hand, it might not have came as such a blow to her. They went through a lot, and almost cost them their marriage. So no matter how hard it might be to bring this subject up, it is definitely a must!

Now you are armed with some questions and topics. Talk to your fiance. Share your ideas and opinions. There are no wrong or right answers. You don't have to agree on everything to have a good marriage. By talking with each other, and sharing your thoughts, you are building a strong foundation for your marriage.