Questions for Engaged Couples to Ask Before Marriage

Dating and engagement are periods of time where couples get to know each other and spend much time in conversation. In spite of that, many important questions are not brought up and remain unanswered until it is too late. Dr. Robin L. Smith presents a list of important questions to ask before marriage in her book, Lies at the Altar (Hyperion, 2006).


Questions About Work and Money in Marriage

Most people spend a good portion of their lives at work and if they are not happy, this will affect their personal lives and marriages. Sometimes they may be willing to take a pay cut if it means finding a job that they are passionate about and enjoy. Others may have large amounts of debt. These areas need to be discussed before entering into marriage. Here are some questions that can stimulate this kind of conversation:

• How much does he earn?
• How much debt does he have?
• Who would handle the finances in marriage?
• Does he have any hidden expenses such as child support?
• Is he a gambler?
• Is he stingy?
• Does he work well within a budget?
• What is his dream job?
• Does he believe in a combined account after marriage?

Questions About Previous Relationships and Sex

Sex is a part of marriage and there are questions that need to be asked for peace of mind. Here are some of the more important ones:

• How many sexual partners has she had?
• Why did previous relationships end?
• Has she ever been diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease?
• Has she ever had a child or an abortion?
• Has she ever been assaulted or raped?
• Is she addicted to pornography?
• What are her family's views on sex?

Questions About Home-Life, Health and Pets in Marriage

When a couple marry, they have a series of choices ahead of them. These include where to live and whether they wish to have pets. Medical issues can be a part of these decisions if a spouse needs to be close to a certain hospital or doctor.

• Where would he like to live?
• What climate does he prefer?
• What style home does he want?
• What size home does he hope for?
• Is he in good health?
• Does he have any chronic health conditions such as diabetes or epilepsy?
• Has he had any serious injuries in the past?
• Has he ever been addicted to a substance?
• Is he an animal lover?
• Is he prepared to accept a partner's animals?
• Does he have an allergy to pet fur?

If a couple are engaged, there are many areas that need to be talked through first. Some of the important ones include discussions about jobs and money, previous relationships and sex, and pets in the home. Although some of these may seem trivial, if opinions are not aired before marriage, they can become areas of great contention. It is far better to talk about them before making a commitment or saying no to the relationship.