Questions to Never Ask a Stranger, Ever

As the summer stretches before me, I look forward to the flurry of social events it provides. It is fun seeing people you haven't seen for awhile, and along the way you meet some new ones. People have varying levels of tact, depending on their personality. If you are a tactful person or would like to be, here are some things to never ask someone. Sometimes your need to know something is not as important as the need to not make someone uncomfortable.

How much something cost
Frequently this is asked out of genuine curiosity. Sometimes the curiosity has a judgmental tone about it, though. You are putting someone in an awkward position when you ask how much something cost. If you are dying to know, just google it when you get home.

Asking about their pregnancy if you're not sure they're pregnant
This is a classic one. And people love to talk about babies, so I'm sure it's overwhelmingly tempting to ask. But if someone just appears pregnant or is having a fat day and you assume they are, that is embarrassing for everyone. In you are unsure of their condition, just talk to them long enough and if they are pregnant it will come up in the course of conversation.

Asking someone about a physical impairment
I have a chronic illness and it shows on the outside in various ways. Trust me, my desire to not talk about it trumps your curiosity. I'm not pointing out your little imperfections so don't draw attention to mine. We've all got something going on physically. I also don't want to talk about your great aunt who's incapacitated with my disease. It's awkward.

Why aren't you married/ having children yet?
In my experience people don't like being grilled about this.

Don't Grill the Grieving
A friend of mine lost her mother to cancer several years ago. She was so devastated she could hardly see straight. While many expressed their condolences graciously, there were some people who skipped over that part and went right to the questionnaire portion of the interview. They wanted to know how it happened, how long she was sick, if she lost all her hair, how much weight she lost... Some questions are out of concern, but there is a point when it becomes intrusive. Let the grieving person take the lead. It is probably painful to retell the story in detail over and over, especially when they don't feel the questions are coming from the right place.

There is a little voice in your head that whispers to you just before you say something you shouldn't. I know this because I have one and I am slowly learning to listen to it. It is your friend, and it will never ask you how much you make.