Quirky Rules that Work

Moms are notorious for irrational threats and bizarre reasoning techniques. I am not going to diss on moms though, we are under a tremendous amount of pressure to hold the very fabric of society together, or at least be certain the children in our care make it to their next birthday.

Over the years I have issued creative rules without really giving a thought to how they might be perceived, by say, my son's girlfriend. With this sweet, casual observer in the background, I am realizing the rules of my family are a little unusual, but they work so it is good for her to see.

Quirky Family Rules:

Stop getting double teamed, or You Must Come Alone Rule

The rule is, "No asking in front of friends." If my daughter wants to have a sleepover with her best friend, she knows that friend better not be within earshot or she already has her answer.

My oldest was the catalyst for this rule. He had an Eddie Haskel type of friend that, at the age of five, knew how to pile on the charm. They worked in pairs, getting what they wanted from adults up and down the block. Since they were so darn cute, it was hard to say no to them. I stopped this racket in it's tracks by enforcing the no asking in front of friends rule. If my son wanted to go over to Eddie's house, he had to ask without Eddie smiling at his side. If I was going to crush a child's hope, it was not going to have witnesses.


Stop sibling rivalry, or Holding Hands Discipline

The rule is, "If you can't be friends with your siblings, you do not have any friends." This sounds incredibly harsh, but I implemented this when my kids were all under eight. Over a decade later, I can say it was successful.

My oldest son did not always want to play with his siblings. This is completely understandable, but the rule was set in place so that he would not have the choice to just run off with friends, ignoring his brothers and sisters, or talk trash against his family. It also served to keep him from being mean to his family when friends were playing over. If he was, friends had to go home. In addition, he and his offended sibling would have to sit on the bottom step holding hands. At first of course there was frustrated hand-squeezing, but before long they would break out in fits of laughter.


No more whining, or No comprende, Mom does not speak, "rude"

More of a policy than a rule, if my kids start whining, complaining or being rude, I will not respond to their pseudo "conversation." This requires complete and total devotion to make it work. Once it is clear you will not validate concerns when presented in that manner, they will figure out how to speak. Training your children takes time, but it is worth it.

A companion rule to this comes straight from "Blue's Clues," When my girlfriend came in from out of town with her boys, she introduced this little diddy to me, "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

Now these boys have obviously grown out of the preschool programming stage, but the beauty of this irrefutable rule is that it can be applied in a multitude of "unfair" situations. When her boys were fussing about the restaurant, she quietly said, "you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit." Then, like magic, they didn't throw a fit.

It was like Buddha himself had spoken. "Ah, of course, I get what I get, and I don't throw a fit."


Sleep through the night or, Go sit in the closet

Unusual exclamations come naturally. My mom once told me to "Go sit in the closet," when I woke her up in the middle of the night. I couldn't sleep and wanted her to fix it. Well, she did. From that night on, my closet was not the place of monsters and boogie men, it was my little secret sleep cave. When I could not fall asleep, I would drag my doll and pillow into my small closet and snooze. She was unaware of the affect her involuntary rule had on me for several years.

I've tried it on my kids without as much success, but you can't win every battle so easily.


More by Sylvie Branch:
7 Parenting Don'ts
Is My Baby Sick? Trust Your Instincts, Mom
Tips for Being a Cool Aunt

.