Quiver Full Movement: You're Doing it Wrong!

ABC's announcement of Baby Duggar #19 brings the "Quiver Full" movement bubbling to the top of the media mosh pit again. My first thought was, "Ladies, it's a vajayjay not a clown car!" Then I realized that the quiver full concept might be OK, but the execution of it isn't Biblical enough.

The inspiration for constant baby production is Psalm 127: 3-5: 3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Yes Quiverites, I realize you are trying to emulate the Old Testament Biblical patriarchs, each man with his "quiver full" of warrior sons to deal with his gate full of enemies. If the local police and the US Marines aren't making you feel secure enough, your choices are to stop making enemies or beget a quiver full of warrior sons.

Don't you read the Bible? You are doing it wrong! Your problem is that you are trying to beget a quiver full of arrows with just one arrow factory in production, and that's not Biblical.

The patriarchs weren't begetting all their arrows from just one factory. King David, for example, didn't beget more than one son per factory. He had Amnon the son of Ahinoam, Daniel the son of Abigail of Carmel, Absalom the son of Maacah, Adonijah the son of Haggith, Shephatiah the son of Abital; and Ithream son of Eglah. Six arrows, six arrow factories. That gave each factory time to perfect their little arrow, scheme against the other arrow factories, take care of David's needs, and all the things that arrow factories did in a Bronze Age patriarchal culture.

If you are going to use the Old Testament for a marriage manual, where are the handmaids? That Proverbs 31 arrow factory had handmaids. Not only did she have handmaids, she ordered out, ran her own business, and dressed in fine clothing. That might have been enough to make up for rising before dawn and having a husband who lollygagged among the elders at the gates, talking about Bronze Age patriarchal guy things like the sexy young arrow factory he just acquired to beget some arrows with.

If you are going to follow the Old Testament, don't be half-hearted about it. Revive another Bronze Age patriarchal custom: make war on your neighbors to enslave them and provide your arrow factory with a few handmaids of her own. What did you beget all those arrows for, anyway?

Source:
"Michelle Duggar Announces She's Pregnant Again - ABC News"