Quotes About the Realities of College Graduation

These are some quotes I've heard or thought up in the two years since I've graduated. Laugh or sigh, you cannot deny that these apply to many new graduates:

"Welcome to the real world. Is this trip for business or pleasure?"

The unexpected question that needs to be asked. What's ahead for you?

"What I would do to be your age again, in college, cursing my parents telling me that I'm ungrateful and telling me how they wish they were my age again."

Enjoy your youth while you can still complain about it.

"I'm sorry, but business casual does not mean a button down shirt and sweatpants bought from your campus store."

Definitely an argument for dress-codes at all levels of education.

"If I miss a payment on my mortgage, the bank will take away my house. If you miss a payment on your student loans, you'll get nasty phone calls and maybe a lowered credit score."

The bills will start coming and won't stop until you're six feet under.

"Yes, you should definitely put your summers spent working three days a week for your father's landscaping business on your resume. I know a greenhouse owner who would love a B.S. in Political Science with a mowing lawns background."

Maybe an internship wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

"A liberal arts degree? Never mind asking 'would you like fries with that." This isn't your parent's fast food market anymore. You better go back for a dietician's degree so you can ask 'would you like trans fats with that?'"

The Bachelor's degree is the new High School Diploma. What's next?

"Grad school, eh? Well, like grocery shopping, school supplies, restaurants and room and board, we won't be picking up the tab anymore. But here's a sweater from grandma. She says she's sorry for missing your graduation and that you should buy a plane ticket to Florida to come visit."

Parents can be great resources, while they're legally obligated to be. After that, emancipate and evacuate.

"Don't worry, mom kept your room exactly as you left it four years ago. That being said, these last four years have been the most peaceful of my life. If you love your father, renew your lease."

Your parents love you and would do anything for you, but it's best not to regress once you've both earned your freedom.

"Yes we do allow telecommuting, but as far as your request for a beer 'fridge' and a bean bag chair at your desk, I'm sorry that doesn't align with our idea of professionalism."

Realistic expectation's about the 9-5.

"Yes, we really only keep six-packs in the refrigerator. Thirty-packs are for the holidays, kegs are for the fourth of July and champagne is when you finally move out and get your own place."

Drinking should be a social and celebratory activity and always in moderation.