Rachael's Tears

Rachael knew that she was dreaming but she didn't care anymore. She just wanted to get to

the part of the dream that she cared about the most, the part she had to get to before her

alarm went off. She yearned for the part where she finally got to see him, the father that

she had lost only a few months ago.She knew she should hate him for leaving her and her mother, but

still she hated to feel that way. In her dream, she walked down the hall and down the stairs

until she finally entered the kitchen where there sat a man with black hair and a newspaper cover-

ing half his face. The man put the newspaper down and smiled at his daughter. Then, he slowly got

up and opened his arms, signaling the desire for a hug. A tear ran down Rachael's check. She was

surprised at how real it felt. Hours later, when she finally awoke, tears were still streaming down

her face. Rachael cried harder, not wanting to stop until she was sure she would never cry again.

Rachael and her mother sat at the table eating breakfast, neither wanting to say a word to the other.

Rachael stole a glance at her mother. She wore a waitress uniform from her new job down at a truck stop

a few miles away, the only job she could find. She had auburn hair and huge, dark blue eyes with skin

that was white as snow. Rachael remembered how her dad used to joke that if her mother dyed her hair

black, she could go try out for Snow White at the theater. Remembering the laughter that used to be

there between her parents, a giggle escaped from Rachael's lips. "I wish Dad were still here." Rachael
winced feeling her mother's eyes on her. She hadn't meant to say that aloud, really, it had just slipped out.
And now her mother was going to be upset. She always got mad when someone brought up dad.
And Rachael had gone as far as to actually say she wanted him back. "I'm so dumb!" Rachael silently cursed herself.
She should have stayed quiet, like always. Things were always better when she was quiet as if she wasn't there at all.

Rachael coughed and straightened up in her chair, seeing her mother's hidden pain. Her mother just stared down at her empty plate. "How?" she said it so low it was almost a whisper. "How can you not hate him?" she said it a little louder this time. ''How can you not despise him for running out on us? He packed his things and he left! And he is never stepping another foot in this house, even if he begged for me to let him in from the freezing cold."

"But why?!" Rachael yelled, getting up so fast that her chair fell to the floor. "Why did he leave?" Tears welled up in her eyes and her mother became a blur. But Rachael didn't care anymore. She ran up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door behind her. "Please come back," she whispered. "Please daddy, please." She chanted the words non- stop until she drifted off into a restless sleep.

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Rachael heard a voice through the darkness. She tried to open her eyes but then she realized they were already open and that it was night and that all of her lights were off. She heard the voice a second time and she slowly and quietly got up from her bed. Her eyes were swollen and red; she realized that she had been holding her breath.

She let it all out, breathing loud and deep breaths. Then, she snuck down the stairs and stopped cold on the staircase when she saw him. She had the urge to rush up and hug him, but something told her to stop and watch what was going on. "Why did you come back?" her mother said. "Please!" said her father. "Let me have Rachael. I need her. Let her live with me. Please Susan!!!!!" Susan took a step back from him. "George, don't beg." Rachael was surprised at how cold her mother sounded. She had never heard her mother talk like that, not even when Rachael was in trouble. And for some reason it made her feel wrong, out of place, and almost scared. Rachael backed up the stairs but before she could reach the top, the stairs creaked. Both her parents looked up, surprised. All of the anger that was inside Rachael came out in one shout.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE?" Chapter two A missing piece. She screamed not thinking of how it made him feel when he didn't care how she and her mother felt when he left, not caring if it was or wasn't the right time to ask she had to know more than anything in the world. Because when he left, when he made her listen to her mother cry herself to sleep, when he made her go through all of the tears, fights, and screaming. The one thing that was keeping her from hating him broke. And she was surprised, and a little afraid of the fact that she started to feel a twinge of hate. She looked from the floor and back into her father's eyes and hated what she saw pain, regret, love, and a brokenness. Rachael didn't want to see anymore she pulled herself away from her fathers piercing eyes and ran down the stairs, through the door, and fled.

Knowing that she had no intension of ever coming back. Rachael wasn't sure what hurt more her father leaving, or him not caring enough to stop her from running away. Well whatever it was it made her run faster- and cry harder. Rachael ran as fast as she could ignoring the terrible pain in her legs and the throbbing head ache from her tears. She ran for what felt like hours when she finally collapsed. Looking up she realized that she had collapsed on a beautiful bright green yard with a Cabin like, red brick house overlooking it. She knocked loudly on the beautifully designed door. A light went on and a round faced man looked out the small window on the door. The door opened. And a man said a few simple words that told Rachael this wasn't were Rachael was staying. "Sorry but I don't have time for you right now-sorry"

"But sir-"

"Now leave my property please" The man stepped out of the doorway and began to close the door. And then before Rachael knew what was going on she was standing on a dark porch wishing that she was sleeping in her warm comfy bed. Tears going down her face she walked down the porch steps, and down the street wishing that her destination wasn't her so called home. Rachael walked up the porch steps as slow as possible she could here her mother screaming at her father and her father screaming back. Rachael backed down the porch steps "I can't go back in there I wont" she said aloud she heard sirens, police sirens she looked around her neighborhood and at the houses full of real families then she watched as her world broke down before her very eyes people were coming out of there happy homes to see what was going on or to just be noisy.

Rachael didn't care anymore she didn't care what the police did with her so called parents, she didn't care what the neighbors thought, and most of all she didn't care what the other students at Roderick Anural Middle School said even though deep down she knew that she cared about all of those things, Even if she tried with all of her broken heart not to.

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Her mother and father hadn't gotten in any trouble last night when the police had come. They had just gotten a warning to quiet down and they made sure that mom was alright. Mom drove off last night she wasn't back when Rachael had woken up. So Rachael was hoping when she got home here mother would be there. -She had no idea how wrong she was.

Rachael stopped at the middle of the steps. She had run pretty much the entire way home. Walking up the rest of the stairs after catching her breath, she opened the door and was surprised to see that almost all of the lights where off and the ones that were on were very dim. Her father looked up. She dropped her book bag on the floor and closed the door behind her. "What's wrong?" she said her voice already shaking as she noticed all the tear stains on her father's face. Her father never cried, ever, unless things were really bad. The first time and the last time she'd seen him cry was when her grandmother had died. After her thought was finished she became terrified "WHERE'S MOM!" said Rachael, not meaning for it to come out as loud as it did.

Her father ran up to her and hugged her "I won't let you go ever again" he whispered she instantly flashed back to the lake and the police. She asked again screaming this time "WHERE IS MY MOTHER?!" She tried to look at his face for the answer to her repeated question but he was blur she realized that her own tears had blinded her. "There was an accident" he said it so low that it was less than a whisper. Rachael froze not one single part of her body moved except for the tears racing down her rosy cheeks.

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Rachael watched as they lowered her mother into the ground then she closed her eyes and silently cried. "Don't leave me, please don't leave me" she screamed in her head She looked around; everyone was starring at her and her father. What were they supposed to do? Just stand there and be judged on how hard there crying, how sad they acted she knew her family even if she didn't want to and she knew how they acted with these things. They judged and they cried and then they were ready to leave you in your misery.

She couldn't blame them no matter how much she wanted to though; after all she had done it herself. She remembered doing it: not wanting to go even if it meant missing school, Knowing that everyone would be acting weird and even though they know your sad they keep pushing you asking you dumb questions talking about memories of who ever died. Rachael hated it. Lately it seemed as though she hated a lot of things, even going to her own mother's funeral.

Rachael ran as fast as she could holding the box. She jumped in to the moving van. Her father was in the driver's seat. "This is the last box" she said smiling. "O.k. lets go!" said her father starting up the truck.

"To New York" Rachael yelled out the window. And they drove off. Goodbye Forever Rachael watched in a daze as they put her father in the ambulance." Are you coming?" she heard one of the paramedics say. She ran to the ambulance and they helped her inside. Rachael watched as the two men did what they had to, to save her father. "Please" she thought "please he didn't do anything wrong, I need him he's my farther, please god don't take him from me" Then suddenly Rachael heard the most horrible sound any human being could imagine when someone they love is hurt.

She heard her father's heart stop. The heart monitor continued to make its horrible sound as Rachael sobbed hysterically. She couldn't hear anything the paramedics were saying to her but she knew they were trying to talk to her. But even through everything they tried to say to her that it would be alright, that he was at a better place that he was at peace now, that he would always be with her, that didn't change the only five words she heard. "We're sorry, we lost him". And all Rachael could do was ask herself questions like "Why? Why did we come to New York? Why did that car hit him? Why can't I stop this horrible pain in my heart? Why did he have to die? Why couldn't it have been me too?"

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Rachael awoke from her dream. Pain, Fear, and hope stricken tears burning her face. She walked down the hall of her grandmother's home, into her grandmother's bedroom and as quietly as she could pulled the gun from under her bed.

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Rachael quietly ate breakfast at the table with her grandmother. "I'm going out for a little while to do some errands" said Rachael's grandmother "Will you be o.k. here alone?" Rachael didn't answer for a while. She wanted to say " My mother and my father are dead. I lost them both in the same year would you be o.k? Thought so." But she didn't. She knew that her grandmother didn't have to take her in, and that she didn't have to take such good care of her. "But still." Rachael thought quietly to herself. "That was a pretty stupid question to ask."

"Would you be o.k.? If you were me?" Her grandmother didn't answer. And even though there was no emotion in Rachael's voice at all, her grandmother got up set her plate in the sink, and left as if sensing the anger that Rachael suddenly felt. Rachael sat at the table motionless until she heard a car pull out of the drive way and drive away. Rachael got up from the table and walked upstairs to her room. She packed all of her things in boxes and stacked them on the floor. Then went to her bed and pulled the stolen gun from under it. Rachael starred at the gun for a moment and then went into the bathroom, and closed the door. The entire street knew what she had done as soon as they heard the gun go off, because not all stories have happy endings.