Radiators and Glove Boxes

With my years of exposure to the English language I continue to be a student of the language, finding its peculiarities and quirkiness increasingly fascinating. If I weren't a writer I would still find the language the most intriguing subject matter available anywhere. A variety of reasons exist for this - time, custom, technological advances, usefulness of words - many factors impact language.

One of the most provocative and amusing influences on language is that of geography. Having lived in the Midwest, the west and the Rocky Mountains, language habits are predictably specific to region. When you combine this specificity with generations, you develop some truly amusing comparisons.

Some of my favorites have to do with food. I've been curious about the word "groceries" for some time. The difference is specifically in terms of pronunciation. In my world, the word becomes "grow-sir-ees" although I frequently hear the word "gro-sure-ees." My spare moments cause me to wonder. If we have "grow-sure-ees," do you look someone in the "fayshe" or have "shereal" for breakfast? To do so is to ignore the habit of pronouncing a "c" followed by "e" with an ess rather than esh sound? Words such as certain, cerebral and ceremonial all occur to me. Who's to say? It's no less frustrating than "often" pronounced as "off-ten" instead of the purist's version, with a silent t. On that tangent, my reaction to "irregardless" is similar to how I imagine it would feel to shoot 110 volts through my spinal column.

While on the subject of shopping, do you go to the store or to the market? And when you get home, where does the food go? In some parts of the country, food goes in the pantry, sometimes in the cabinet and sometimes in the cupboard. Or if you're very fortunate, you have a cellar or a basement from which to choose. The items that need to be cold can go into the refrigerator, fridge or in my case, the ice box. And what is it that one uses to get a discount from food purchased? From my standpoint, you would use a coupon (pronounced coop-on) in lieu of a "kew-pon."

Before we leave the kitchen, there's a question of the appliance used for cooking. Stove is good. But so is range and so is oven. Perhaps there are specific characteristics for each but it seems to me to be a question of geography or generation that drives the name of the appliance. We also use a device to heat our hot water. I had hot water heaters both as a child and as an adult but many have had boilers. And although I prefer the visual of eating supper, rumor has it that dinner sounds classier and more chic. Can't help but wonder if title has any effect on the taste of food.

Very often I have been known to have a hot dog for supper. It seems likely, however, that you've had a wiener or a frankfurter, depending on your part of the country and your access to such delicacies. The condiments are an entirely different discussion - in my world, hot dogs get pickles, tomatoes, relish, ketchup, mustard, peppers and the inevitable celery salt. Those who identify Lake Michigan in my past would be right on target, with the other city's hot dogs ineligible for discussion.

When finished, it's always been my habit to remove the garbage and not the trash. If you use the second word to describe character (or lack thereof), you can probably see why garbage is preferable. My car has a glove compartment rather than a glove box, making me wonder in either case if anyone ever puts gloves in there. And my special neighbor lived kitty-corner from us, rather than katty-corner, a term that I have been unable to explain. Maybe a search engine out there has "katty" listed.

Finally, we have to relax a while and go outside to have a sip of a coffee drink. For some of us it's an espresso, for others an expresso (I'm not persuaded that this is a legitimate word). Afterward, we'll go inside and sit on the couch (or divan or sofa or davenport, depending) next to the radiator. Most of our kids would associate radiator with cars, not with a device to generate heat. And so the question - is it "rat-e-ate-er" or "ray-de-ator," per my past. I wonder what happened to all those radiators with the advent of solar panels, hot water heat and other luxuries.

I am not familiar with the current jargon for what couples do once they hit the couch (divan, et al), espresso in hands. But I ran across an expression today that really should not have gone away. You can easily imagine how anyone under forty would respond if you mentioned "pitching woo." I won't even try it.