Raging Hearts

Lily"

What is true passion? Can we, as humans, really ever truly know? Sometimes I wonder. Don't think my own mother even had a chance to figure that one out. Is it impossible? I hope not.

Things don't ever seem to go the way I have planned. It's like I attract all the bad things in this world. Why must it be like this? Why should I go day-to-day feeling such despair for the way things have turned out? My heart is feels so cold sometimes. Maybe one day it will rage with fire. Passion.

The rest of my final semester of high school is going to be such a drag, as it has already begun to seem so. High school has not been the epitome of my younger years, so far. Not even my own visions could change such things it seems. Hope. Faith. Maybe both will be my final resort.

Aisha has been picking me up for school ever since my car broke down last semester. Can't afford to fix it and my aunt definitely cannot help me there. She is lucky to get the house bills paid in full.

Where is Aisha? She should have been here already. Thought I was running behind. Uug.

I had everything I needed for school today. It is still a while till finals, prom, and graduation. I am dreading Prom most of all. My grades are good, but not one guy throughout my entire high school has struck an interest with me. I don't mean that as in the sense of no guys having an interest in

me, but instead I have no interest in them. Not one. Such a bummer. It would be nice to find someone fascinating enough to keep my interests, my focus. Always waiting.

Beeeep! She's finally here.

"Bye Aunt Deena. Aisha is here. See you after school. Luv Ya!" I could hear Deena yelling back from downstairs. She must be starting early on laundry and house cleaning. She always does that her entire days off; even if the house seems completely, spotless.

The ride to school is a typical as ever. Aisha mostly talks of herself, her exploits. I just pretend as though I am interested. She is a friend. Don't get me wrong, but she is so involved in the things that only include her.

Aisha's eyes grew big. "Don't you think the kid from our Physics class, row 8, is pretty....hot?! I could just admire his face all day. Well at least for third period Calculus, ha".

I forgot about the new kid in that class. I definitely have to agree with Aisha regarding such good looks. He had struck one of my visions just before the semester had begun. No further visions after just that one. Interesting that I could not reach for more.

"You know what? I may actually agree with you on that. I may consider asking him a bit about himself; if possible. My gut just tells me there is something there".

She probably did not enjoy such a comment from me with my recent history.

"Yeah! Right! You act as though no one is your match. Why now? I liked him first!"

She is so consumed with herself.

"Do you forget that Prom is coming? Then Graduation? I spent my time with no interest in anyone. I deserve first dib and you know it! Don't forget you are lucky I stay your friend sometimes."

I know. I know. That is usually her response to my questions. She always assumes I right, but must forget it shortly after. Self-absorbance....her disease. Ha.

Aisha and I do not share our first class in English. I take Advanced Writing Forms for English. I always managed to stay in Advanced Courses. Most of work seemed....easy. The boy that seemed appealing for the moment, such rare occasions I must add, was in my Physics class but also my first class. As long as he didn't drop the course. The professor called his name the entire first week of school. No attendance; which was odd. Nice first week...could have wanted to enjoy the weather. I don't blame him!

I shuffled into my first class rather quickly. No one sat where this boy was assigned to sit. The school always assigns new students to the middle of the room their first classes. I was secretly hoping he may show today. He showed only one day so far and that was this past Monday. School has started the Friday before last week.

Auuuhh. He has shown up today. I have never seen someone as alluring as him. His style was so clean, new, and fresh scented. His smell had intrigued me unlike anything I ever been near. He seemed very like a very proper boy; although missing much school doesn't seem proper. I don't miss school that often.

"Hello class. We did not get to properly introduce our recent class addition during previous class time. His name is Kaleb Willingturn".

I could here the professor's quiet speech with the boy. Told him my name. That may take the ease out of actually sitting next to someone when I am to introduce myself. At least I will have a partner for those dam term papers. I am so grateful no one knows I have excellent hearing, ha, too bad for them.

Couldn't help myself to a little giggle; Silent one of course.

"Today, class, we are going to discuss the written forms of Shakespeare's work. His work is full of so much insight. Maybe a section or two has stroked an interest to your liking?!" I never paid much attention in class. Everything seemed so easy to me. I assume that will benefit me in the future. Is it possible my powers could be control through the knowledge I gain? Who knows? Must have hope, or faith, which ever works best.

I always moved quickly through class work. My teachers always annoyed me with their pestering of great intelligence. Being smart did not feel so special to me. I only seek to understand passion. True Passion! The new boy distracted me greatly his first day here. There was something about him. He was different from anyone I had ever met.

Kaleb had sat next me but kept his distance. He seemed as though he would rather sit somewhere else, if possible in school. The first day he was here; I could not hear his thoughts. Comforting and strange at the same time. I must find out more about this boy; might as well, before my wasted away high school years are finished.

"I am Lily by the way, Kaleb". I got no response. Boys chased me all through high school; they bored me of course. It figured the one that finally sparks an interest chooses not to speak to me. I never really felt worthy of the beauty behind Kaleb's face; nor the mystery.

My usual day hours before the start of Physics class include; advanced college prep sociology/psychology introduction and English, study recess time, and advanced economics. Kaleb's in my study recess time.

"Ms. Mena. What are your takes on Romeo and Juliet?"

Why must he always choose me to answer the questions? Someone else please pay attention in school!

Kaleb raised his hand as soon as the professor asked me the questions.

Let him answer. Let him Answer.

"Aahh. If you do not mind maybe Kaleb would be interested in trying my question."

Works fine for me. Tired of answering questions.

Kaleb had an enduring and loving expression as he spoke, but also a saddened one at times. "I was a little thrown off by the quick assumption to assume death on the romantic partner. I would rather try with whatever knowledge possible to ensure the other person from such a passionate bond has passed on completely before an untimely suicide".

Well spoken I must say Kaleb.

The teacher decided to follow other student reactions to that response for the remainder of the class.

"Steel my answer, but do not say hi back to me earlier? Weird."

Maybe I shouldn't have said that so rudely.

"I had no time to apologize and the thought just came to mind. Needed a release. It is nice to meet you Lily. I am just not normally talkative with many people".

Why did he not look ay me while talking? Oh, well.

Nothing else was said between Kaleb and I. Bell rings...he disappears. Kaleb was absent from any class I shared with him afterwards that day. I still claimed him over Aisha. She can deal. I was surprised anyone would rather sit at home on a miserable and cloudy day rather than just go to school. It doesn't rain much here, but is cloudy most of the time. Not too many sunny days in (ADD CITY HERE ---- Mostly cloudy whether).

My home life is not too eventful. It is however, comfortable. My aunt took me in when my father died. Mother was shortly before father; bothers me still; but less each day. Father is just as hard to move past. Aunt Sheree provides what she can on a minimal salary with commissions every now and again. I never have a need for things, so that makes it easier for her to work with. Only essentials or dire needs for me. Other things are often a waste of money.

As I was getting ready for sleep, another vision came. Kaleb was in it. There was a background of darkness and Kaleb was there. His back facing me. He sprung around as fast a lightning and his eyes glowed like a crimson emerald. He smiled with the most perfect smile. Teeth the color of pearls began to sparkle. His hand reached out to me. His touch was cold. Darkness.....

Visions come as a quick flash. So much information visually and consciously floods in during only a matter of seconds.

I have never seen a vision of anyone in such a way before. Interesting.

For the first time I dreamt of a boy. Kaleb. My dream was consumed with the thoughts of touching his cold skin again and almost having the chance. Kaleb ran from me though. I did not understand. Good thing dreams are only dreams. I may actually be bummed to not learn more about him.

School the following day was the same as any other. Kaleb showed up to Physics. Each time I peaked at him, he had a blanketed expression on. Sometimes he did show a hint of interest when he would catch my glaze. His eyes were mesmerizing. It is like they want to pull you into them and never let go; such an amazing emotion to be feeling. New and frightful; yet intriguing.

Why won't he say anything to me? Should I say something to him? Never mind. I wonder what he is thinking.

He never said anything to me that day; maybe another day. Choir practice was this afternoon and I was dreading it. Normally I am excited, but this week's assignment proved to be difficult for me. How can I not choose the perfect melody out of the many types of music available today?! I replayed so many songs in my head and nothing struck like lightning. Nothing seemed to have enough Passion in its' words.

As soon as school let out I caught a ride home with Aisha. She had a very smug attitude this afternoon. "Tell me something Lily. Are you going to make a move for Nathanuel? Chris Nelson asked me to prom during lunch today. I said yes".

Chris asking Aisha to prom may work in my favor.

"I have this yearning to ask almost anything of Nathanuel. He always seems so cautious of people at school, especially me. I suppose I will get the courage to converse with him soon enough. Are you going to pick me up before Choir? My car is still in the shop". Before Aisha gave any response, she turned up the radio.

"Did you hear this song yet? I love it. First and Love by Brandy". I gave her an evil glare quickly. "Oh, right, I will be back within twenty minutes. I forgot my clothes at home today. I always do that." The song by Brandy continued in the background. The words seemed to pull me in like they had for Aisha.

"I ain't getting no younger. So boy, when I say love. I don't say it just to say love, I know better. If you never showed love. Don't think I would've known love. Gotta put in my song, love. And sing it over and over."

We pulled up to my house before the song could finish.

Maybe the Choir instructor will give a few days to find a song. It has to be perfect.

"Hey darling. How was your day at school? It's almost to an end". My dad was always home before I finished school. He didn't like to have me eating alone at night.

"It was okay. I met a boy that seems rather interesting. You know, prom will be right around the corner in no time. Think I may like to go."

That's a sure surprise for him.

Prom.

He was cooking steaks and potatoes as I wondered into the kitchen. His response is what I was eagerly awaiting. His approval as well. "You might as well go Lily. It may be one experience worth the stress. High school doesn't last forever." He turned out around to look me in the eyes. "Who is this boy? Do I know him?".

His voice sounded curious and wary at the same time. I don't blame him.

Tyler will never find me here. Dad made sure of that! Hopefully! Tyler had seemed so.....dangerous.

"Well, he is new to the high school. He transferred mid-semester from somewhere. He seems interesting; worth my time. Would it bother you if I am to approach him? Before I get too old, please!?" After Tyler having been in my life, briefly, I was not allowed to date boys. Not that I had really wanted to. My close friends have told me it is time for a change.

"Do what you will dear. I think you may benefit from meeting someone who interests you. I know I wish I have. Just remember to follow your heart, not your head." He finished cooking dinner and we both sat to eat. We finished pretty quickly, while discussing medical check-ups.

My father understood the abilities I have. I have always had them and if it wasn't for the manipulation of metals....he may never have believed me. I always have a way to physically show others I have some odd abilities. No one other than my father and a few doctors know of my abilities. Tyler knew as well. Still can't understand how he figured them out. That is why my father had us disappear. With help of course. My father had a lot of connections with government authority. He also has three good friends who are normal shape-shifters. All three can change themselves into anything, including whoever they are holding during the change. I would always be grateful to them for helping us.

After cleaning up our dinner plates, I excused my self to my room. Aisha would be here to pick-up in ten minutes or so and I needed to move quickly. The sound tires out front meant she was here.

"Bye dad. See you after choir practice. Love you." The door slammed behind me.

Ooops. He hates when I slam the door. Ha.

Choir practice time passed quickly tonight. My thoughts were blank most of practice. The instructor had no problem with allowing me extra time to find the right song. We were assigned any song we wanted. We had to sing that song but with true meaning behind it. I needed passion for mine. I needed love.

Nathanuel.

During sleep....blackness consumed me. There was a face in the distance. Cold. His eyes shined with an inferno of hatred.

Tyler! No! I could only think to run AWAY! Into more darkness. His voice echoed around me.

I will find you. I will own what you have become.....SOON! Whiteness. Everything's White now. Tyler's gone.......

Nathanuel walks from the horizon. There was a golden and white aura around him. It glowed so brightly that it blinded me. Then I awoke.

Sheeesh! Should I take that as a vision of some sort. Naah! Tyler would not be that crazy. There was something a bit off about him however. Whatever! History. My father and I traveled well into a hidden life. Could it hold?

The alarm went off annoyingly. I threw it across the room and knocked some books over on my bookshelf. Dad yelled from the other room, "You alright in there Lily?"

I yelled back, "Yes dad, knocked my alarm over reaching for it." We were able to learn, after some time-consuming research, that my visions do not apply to other choices that could have been made available right before the resulting vision. Each vision, obviously, tended to show some event as it occurred. The chosen outcome, or end. It is very new for me to have visions involving such images as those of Tyler and Nathanuel. There was never a purpose; or so it seemed. Maybe they are visions of the presence of something. Something new. Why did Tyler have to be in one? That makes me uneasy. My father and I are out of hiding places and resources to get there.

Wonder if I can concentrate on the moments before a vision occurs. Maybe I can access the choices that were available previous to the random visions. Don't know about these last two dreams though.

I decided to dress a bit more stylish today. Maybe Nathanuel will notice. Good thing I have always had a large wardrobe to choose from. I was never the best a matching the appropriate styles. I don't really take the time to dress accordingly; well, to how the public sees fit. After showering and thinking of style decisions......a choice was made. I had displayed along the satin linen a lavender frilled dress. Very sheek.

I need good shoes......heals? Boots? Boots, definitely....with heels. I wore these last week but that is okay.

Aisha showed at her usual time. The ride was silent, except for the usually quick 'new kid scoop'. We did briefly discuss our graduation plans. I have yet to fully decide on the direction my life is meant to take. I have developed a strange feeling that my direction will soon be revealed though.

I hope today plays out well.

Chapter 2 "The Thoughts of a boy.....Nathanuel"

It is hard to be something you are not capable of being. Humans! They are strange creatures. Lily is different from them though. I wonder why.

Normally school days went by so painfully, so boring! This Lily girl has been the first to catch my interest in a very long time. She made sitting next to her unbearable and pleasing at the same time. I felt as though I should have consumed all of her existence. Such strange feelings to have toward a human. I had a feeling she was more than just human. There was a magical and mysterious sense that emanated from her strong aura. Her blood smelled sweet and invited me inside her. It is like it calls to me, more so than any other being. Over-whelming feeling to have; Indeed!

I must talk to her today. No reason for rudeness. She can't truly know me, but then.....guess I would be forced to see. Would I even be able to risk such things...?

I had said hi to Lily today; still keeping my distance. Nothing she would notice, I hope. Sitting near her makes me feel warm for once. I have not felt warm in a long time. She responded back to me. She was very bold in her attempt to point out my past rudeness.

"I would like to apologize for that. I had so much on my mind that I was oblivious to even the beautiful things in life. At least I can work with an admiring individual."

Maybe I just said too much. Maybe I should have said nothing and continued being rude. Never again. Something more than blood calls to me from within this girl. Lily. Very innocent and beautiful. Hmm.

"Excuse me!? What are you imposing? That I show interest?"

Something in her eyes burns in a silent rage. It was almost like everything she was, was ready to engulf our existence. Would I hurt her? Not worth the risk. Maybe time can work on my side for once.

"Tell me you do not show a silent interest. As I feel one as well. Lab partners should be friends at least anyway. You help me and I, vice versa." The bell rang the minute I finished speaking. Her eyes stared with wonder. There was something hiding in her eyes. It seemed as though it was ready to burst; just waiting for the final spark.