Raising Girls Who Love Their Bodies

I have weight issues. Actually, I've always had weight issues. I recently lost a little over 15 pounds which was that last and hardest bit of weight that kept me from being my "ideal" size. I feel good about it, but as long as I can remember, growing up as a girl in our T.V. saturated culture, I never thought I looked good enough: I hated the gap between my teeth; I didn't like the sound my thighs would make from my olive green corduroy pants rubbing together; and my severe acne was the bane of my existence.

You think I had the bad image blues? Our girls now have it worse. Everyday they are bombarded with airbrushed magazine covers, BET and MTV videos, and now the medium that trumps them all-the Internet. In fact, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, 59 percent of our girls are dissatisfied with their current body shape. If our girls compare themselves to what they see daily in the media, they can't help but to feel inadequate-unable to measure up to the Rihannas, Ciaras and Beyoncés of the world.

As parents we can't just sit and let the world have the biggest influence on our girls. It is our job to point our girls toward God and to let them know just how beautiful they are. Here are some ways to help promote a healthy body image in your girl:

Be the example. According to the Girl Scout Research Institute, the biggest indicator of whether a girl will be overweight, unsatisfied with her body and physically inactive, is her mother. Girls look to their moms as living examples. If they see you munching on junk around the clock, laying in front of the T.V. all day, or constantly complaining about how you look, they are more likely to do the same. If you want your girl to adopt a healthy lifestyle and self-image, set the example in your household. Perhaps you can even set aside time to exercise together?

Don't focus on flaws, but rather, help your daughter to accentuate her best features. The same kind and nurturing way you would address a girlfriend who was wearing something that didn't look good, or who needed some beauty advice, is the same way you should address your daughter. If you find yourself about to say something negative about your girl's body, redirect your thought and turn your comment into a more positive one. Don't say, "Your butt is too big to wear that skirt!" Instead, say something like, "That skirt isn't the most flattering on your figure. I think you should wear this dress because the color looks really good on your complexion."

Keep private matters private. Some things should just be kept between you and your daughter. Unless there's a relevant reason, you shouldn't joke with your friends about how big your daughter's cup size is, and Great-Aunt Susie Mae shouldn't know that your girl has stretch marks on her hips. If your daughter overhears you talking about her, or someone mentions it to her later, she could be absolutely devastated and embarrassed. The point is: You don't want your girl to ever feel overly self-conscious. You want her to be able to feel she can talk to you about the many changes her body is going through.

Talk, talk, and talk some more. Start as early as possible discussing what you see on T.V. Ask your daughter, "What does being healthy look like?" If you allow your daughter to watch music videos, sit down with her and watch them too, and discuss what type of ideals the singers are presenting. By talking, you are teaching your daughter how to critically analyze the messages that the world sends her, and she'll be better able to decipher healthy images from bad ones.

Affirm constantly and confidently. Always remind your daughter of who she is in Christ. Write scriptures on a card to put in her mirror, so that when she looks in the mirror she is encouraged. Place love letters in her lunch bag. Tell her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14) Tell her everything that God made was good, including her. (Genesis 1:31) Tell her that she was created in God's image. (Genesis 1:27) And after all that, tell her that you love her.