Raising Intercultural or Interracial Children

After much searching on the AC website, I found that many of the articles were not as indepth as I would have hoped. Thus, I am writing more comprehensive articles on specific subjects.

I have found that many American white parents are adopting children from either a different race and/or a different country. Furthermore, there are many couples with mixed race or ethnic children. When the marriage is dissolved, the child is not only left being shuttled between two parents, but often between two cultures, as well. And, those are the lucky ones. Some don't get to have the experience of knowing the less dominant culture at all. Here are some tips to help your child. NOTE: these will take time and effort on your part. How important is your child?

Examine your own views and family values. Everyone holds stereotypes about some group of people. Examine them, scrutinize them, work to change them. Don't assume that because you are adopting the child, that automatically means that you are accepting and/or not prejudice. This is not true. I have known many white parents who hold very prejudice views, yet either think that they can help their child be the "exception to the rule," or that "It just does not matter." In effect, culture, skin color does matter. Although I am blind myself, I have always rejected a color blind society. We don't want people to forget about color. After all, our skin color has shaped us, just as so many other factors have. We want people to celebrate color and ethnicity. Frankly, it is a backhanded compliment to say: "oh, I forgot that you were black," or "You know, I don't even think of you as Indian."

Many suggest that you should research the culture that your child belongs to. You should read books and watch movies. You should talk with them about their culture. This is sound advice and a crucial first step. but it is just not enough. You need to adapt your lifestyle to include some of the traditions and cultural icons of the child's culture. You should find a way to infuse culture into your everyday living: not just for the child, but for the family. If you have adopted a child from China, why not find some Chinese dishes that you cook regularly, decorate your home with a bit of Chinese décor and celebrate the Chinese New Year each and every year. Explain to the other members of your family about the holiday. Parents, you can't just give lip service to the child's culture and respect it in the intellectual and theoretical realms. You must enjoy the culture as well. Culture is not what you teach your child, it is what you do. We infuse culture to our children by living. Thus, we have to *live* some of the cultural values that we want our children to respect; from our own and from their culture.

Have friends from other cultures. Develop long lasting friendships with people from other cultures. Do not do this, just because you have a child from that culture. It is best for you to do this before the child is even in the household. This will make the child feel more integrated into that specific community. These friends might serve as "cultural guides," if you will. And, you will show the child that you accept people from different cultures. Again, it will be more than a mantra or a theory. It will become your life. Furthermore, if your family and friend life is integrated, then, the child will feel more at ease and develop a more healthy identity. Also, you, the parent will not be afraid that someday, the child will want to experience the "other world." This is because you are part of that "other world" and you have lovingly shared both worlds with him/her. This article can also apply to those women who are raising mixed race children. Whenever a family is integrated in a cultural way, these guidelines will help your child grow up with a better identity and a more diverse outlook on the world.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/522733/adopting_a_child_of_a_different_heritage.html?cat=7