Raising Pagan Children in a Christian World
It's Hard to Be a Pagan These Days, Especially a Pagan Child in a Christian World
I have been a pagan for 20 years now, and having several children, I naturally want to raise them in my faith. It sounds simple, even expected. But when you live in America, and in the Bible Belt especially, this can be a tricky situation- one to be met, largely, by silence.
Even when you do not teach your children about Jesus, he will come into the home, in the form of peer pressure. Friends, even well-meaning relatives will talk to children about Jesus, and be shcoked if a child does not know about him. After learning this the hard way, and seeing one child feeling left out and even stupid because she did not know what her friends were talking about, and left out when friends go off to church, I figured out a simple strategy to make things easier in my family.
First, the Jesus talk should be pre-emptive. A child who is told who Jesus is and why there are people who talk about him will go into this type of situation feeling confident. Peer pressure will not be a factor if a child is told simply that most people in our area do believe in Jesus and think he is important, and that is ok if they and we don't. People have a variety of beliefs and don't have to agree on them. Jesus is important to them, and that is all right with us. They like to go to church, but we like to do different things, and that is ok as well.
In addition to a basic knowledge of what Christianity is, a child in this day and age, as sad as it is, should also be told not to speak about their beliefs, unless it is with family memebers. We live in the Bible Belt, and there may be other pockets of the country that are more progressive, but this isn't one of them. Publicly declaring oneself to be a pagan is enough to have the neighbors ostracize you, to have them refuse to let their kids play with yours, and in some cases to even call the authorities to report the "devil worship." I personally have never told my children about the concept of the devil, so our risk, I feel, is not that great. But children who hear people talking about the devil should be warned that he does not really exist. Anyone connecting your child to talk of the devil, and knowing that you are practicing pagans, could make trouble for your entire family.
These may sound like silly worries, to be reported to the authorities for your own benign and simple beliefs, but it can and does happen. Paganism is still seen as "evil" by the majority of Christians, and they do not hesitate to put it down or to warn others about its evils. This should not happen to your child, but when it does, a forewarned child will be much less affected by it.
Paganism today is a home-centered religion, with no church to go to, and no money to be sent to anyone. It should, for now, remain in the home. If the beliefs at home are strong, and the child is armed with the knowledge of Christianity, it makes for a sake environment to practice your beliefs with your family.
Published by Shepherd
Shepherd is a former reporter now working as a freelance writer specializing in PR writing and Web content. View profile
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- Paganism today is a home-centered religion.
- A child should be told about Jesus pre-emptively to avoid confusion and peer pressure.
- Children should largely keep their beliefs to themselves outside the home for fear of conflict.
30 Comments
Post a CommentI live in Georgia ( don't think I nee to explain much more about that ) and I'm really thankful for the tip since we are having our first child in a few months.
my children have had it bad with other children been mean because am a pagan ,it not far,and we good not bad ppl so why
Got cut off! What I was saying was that the more people see that we're just people like everyone else, the less they will fear us and hate us.
I actually do have a 5-year-old son. I was raised in Alabama and West Virginia in a staunch Southern Baptist family, so I certainly know what it's like to live in communities of very strong Christian beliefs. My family is aware of my beliefs and the fact that I am raising my son Wiccan. They were definitely not happy about it at first, but they got used to it. I do not believe in lying and teaching my son to hide our beliefs is essentially teaching him to lie. As long as we continue to hide, we will be misunderstood and the myths will continue. As I said in my previous post, being open about my religion has opened the eyes of many people (including a lot of my family) who had wrong ideas about what Wicca is. If I had hidden those beliefs, they would have continued to fear and hate us, based on mistaken ideas about what they thought we were.
I also feel the same way about sexuality. I am openly bisexual, which has evoked many of the same reactions as being Wiccan. But the more people s
That's great in theory, but in reality there are simply places where you can't do that. That's just the way it is. That may change some day, but it hasn't yet. In some areas it's pretty vital to hide it to avoid having your children ostracized and perhaps even to prevent violence. Your own opinions about it just don't compare to the prospect of your children never being able to make friends and learn to socialize, to being ignored by neighbors, to having everyone afraid to let their kids play with yours, to losing your friends, etc. Your personal feelings about your religion just can't compare with the damage it can do to all of your lives if it isn't kept at home where it belongs. As a parent sometimes you have to do things that you don;'t want to n order to make a decent life for your family. This is one of them. I'm guessing that you don't have any children. Once you do, you will probably have a better perspective.
I strongly disagree with the belief that we should teach our children to hide their faith, especially if we teach them to lie about it. I have always been outspoken about who I am, including my religion. Being open about our beliefs will help people to understand us and realize that we're not evil. Secrecy only perpetuates the myths that we're fighting against. I can't tell you how many times people have told me, "Wow, that's not at all what I thought Wicca was!" Ignorance breeds fear. Hiding and lying about our beliefs encourages ignorance.
I enjoyed the comment by Aukxsona about wishing people a "Happy Ostara". I have been a pagan for 22 years now and have taught all of my children ages from 22 to 4 my beliefs form a young age. I am a Soldier in the U.S. Army and suprisingly have had little despairagement as to my faith. The army has even been supportive of the renewed interest many Folk's have taken to Paganism and gives us use of small facilities on Post to have "circle" I use this term loosely because we seldom have rituals as much as social time for ideological exchange. For years I have wished people a "Happy Yule" and "Happy Ostar" without religious reprise. Most people probably chalk it off to our recent political corectness of not saying "Merry X-mas". But I digress, teaching your children your values and not keeping it from them has been the best course of action in my house. Yes from time to time one of my children has been bruised by a freinds parent not wanting them over due to our ideology, but who wan
I have been blessed to have parents who were Christian but decided to let me choose my own path. My family wasnt too thrilled about that but I put it behind me and eventually so did they. I now live in Oceanside, CA where there are Pagans everywhere. I show off my pride on my bug through bumper stickers and my husband corrected his dogtags to say Wicca/Pagan as the religion. Christians need to realise that technically we aren't evil. If they look at history, they slaughtered those who did not convert. People practice out of fear, they fear their God. I never did understand why I should fear my God.
Great article, very informative. I have been lucky enough to live in some of those very progressive areas (NYC, Tampa Bay area) where we don't have to be so in the broom closet, but I agree with your advice totally. I have explained Christian beliefs to my children about Jesus, Heaven and the Devil because they inevitably come up and it draws much more unfriendly attention to a child when he says "Jesus who?"
i want to be a wiccan but my family is penecostal(evangelical) what do i do