Raising Princesses - Damaging Our Daughters

Flowing gowns, gorgeous hair, and a handsome prince. They sing, they dance, and they attract woodland creatures like a salt lick in the forest. These multi-talented, perfectly proportioned damsels in distress have become role models for many young girls, influencing several aspects of life from toy purchases to attitudes. How has the influx of the "Princess" culture influenced young girls in our society?

Fantasy can be beautiful. It allows us to travel to faraway places, meet fascinating people and for a while, escape into the life of someone else and experience a unique adventure. Fairy tales have been a popular aspect of fantasy for centuries and they serve a useful purpose, not only to entertain, but to teach life lessons. It's through fairy tales that many children are introduced to the idea of evil, the merits of good behavior and the concept that our actions have consequences. Told in poetic, lyrical language these stories encourage the development of virtues while opening young eyes to the fact that the world is not a perfect place. Somehow, out of this genre of fiction a culture has arisen that directly affects how young girls are influenced, how they behave toward others, their perception of themselves, and what they expect from society.(It must be stated here, that there are many healthy, wonderful and caring girls in the world who should be praised for their genuine goodness of heart and the joy they bring to those who know them. This article is not about them or the parents who do such a good job raising them.)

Through movies and marketing a single element of these stories has emerged and taken on a life of it's own. The"Princess". The heroines of these tales often exhibit a high moral consciousness, elevated standards of conduct and a purity of heart, but those are not the qualities being impressed on many girls today. The "Princess" culture teaches girls that to be attractive they have to look like the young women in the movies they watch. It teaches girls that having surface beauty is very important, that pink is the only color in the rainbow, that makeup and cute clothes are essential(if you don't believe me please go to the Disney princess website and be sure to checkout the parenting tips) and it teaches them to expect people to tell them how pretty they are. The "Princess" culture teaches little girls that they are not actually people, but that they are better than people, they are "Princesses", and that means they should get whatever they want, when they want it, and that no negative aspect of real life should ever affect them. "Princesses" don't fall and scrape their knees, they don't get sick, and everyone pays attention to them. And with their parent's help these girls grow up expecting the world to treat them as they believe they should be treated, like "Princesses".

I wonder at parents who seemed baffled that their tween and teen daughters have no desire to contribute to the society they are a part of, but would rather text their friends, post questionable photos of themselves on MySpace, bare their midriffs, show off their low-rise skinny jeans and paint their nails. These parents can't discern why their daughters expect things to be handed to them without earning it, why they expect compliments and admiration from others for simply existing. And then the fun starts, these fearsome creatures are unleashed on an unsuspecting world as adults, in a society that expects them to work, to adapt to different situations and people, to be productive, and where they have to deal with conflict, with not being the most important person in the room, and where pouting doesn't get you promoted. And for the adult "Princesses" who wish to be in a relationship, the unsuspecting male is faced with the daunting task of keeping up with the demands of a high maintenance woman who offers very little to her partner. And the parents of these adult "Princesses" furrow their brows and ponder, why their daughters are emotionally and socially retarded.

Fantasy and fairy tales are beautiful, and it's fun to dress up and play and to truly enjoy the freedom and wonder of being a child. It's even better when that child knows without a doubt that they are loved by their family. And spoiling a child from time to time can bring a lot happiness to parents when they see the look on their child's face and admit it ,it's just plain fun to do. But raising children like their surrounded by reality-free bubble wrap doesn't help anyone, least of all them.