Raising a Resilient Child

The newest approach to treating children is called "Resiliency". It's beginning to take the place of the concept of trauma. Children diagnosed with trauma are assumed to have had an experience which has left them symptomatic and from which they need to be cured. It usually leads to a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which means the child has a diagnosable mental illness. Therapists will then focus on the event in order to assist the child to recover from newly developed symptoms which they believe have resulted from the trauma. Today this is seen as a limited and narrowly focused approach.

"Resiliency" takes an entirely different approach to addressing observable behaviors which are not serving the child well in their lives. It does not include a mental health diagnosis but rather assesses the child's strengths and seeks to help the child bring those strengths into their current struggles. It takes that which is strong and positive in the child and helps them use those abilities to better cope with difficult issues in their lives.

For example - a child's family is going through a divorce and the child has become depressed, withdrawn, and their school work is failing. Before, they might be diagnosed with depression and trauma. Today therapist using more current thinking would say that the child does not have the resilience to handle the present situation in the home. They would explore areas where the child has functioned well in the past and assess what strengths the child was using at that time. They might find that self confidence and a sense of security have been replaced by fear and insecurity. They would then work to help the child use those strengths to cope with their current home situation.

By approaching difficulties in this fashion the child learns to use those strengths as life presents other difficulties. It does not just aid in the "recovery" from a specific occurrence but rather assists the child to become more emotionally able to handle life in general. Building on strengths is a far more positive approach and will serve the child better the focusing on a negative event and implying they have an illness from which they must be helped to recover.

By narrowing the use of the concept of trauma and returning it to its original intent - a person has had an experience which caused them to actually believe they were going to die and as a result they are experiencing symptoms - and moving to the resiliency concept we are no longer seeing children as having a diagnosable mental illness and seeing them just as children who's maturity is not complete and who need our guidance to assist them to grow.

Everyone needs to be resilient today. Disappointments, losses and other struggles are part of daily life. Raising more resilient children will give them the tools they need to live happier lives.