Ramblings from the Byrd Nest

Who's the genius that thought to put ice cream on a stick? Surely, he knew that it was going to melt faster than you can eat it. And as we all know, when you get toward the end of the ice cream bar, you have to do some tricky maneuvers to keep some from falling into your lap. It seems to me the bonehead would have realized that's why cones are wider than the ice cream. Or maybe I'm the bonehead for eating them.

Have you ever wondered how many people died trying to figure out what we should eat? I mean, think about it. We eat some fruits, vegetables and meats, but if we were out there in the wilderness like survivor man, we'd need to know what was okay, and what would make us keel over. Somebody somewhere down the line had to try a few things to find out. I think those people should get a little credit. Look at the frog. How many people probably got sick eating different parts until someone decided maybe they should just stick to the legs.

I don't know about most of you, but to me one of the greatest things recently is manufacturers putting pop-tops on canned goods such as soup and vegetables. Why haven't they done it sooner? I know they've been around for quite a while because I've seen vending machines for years with those little cans of chili and beef stew. Believe me, I'm all in favor of anything that alleviates an electrical appliance such as a can opener.

And speaking of can openers, have you tried to buy one lately? I have been searching for one in every store to no avail. Coffee pots they have by the dozens, but electric can openers are more scarce than trying to find a honest fishing story at a bass tournament. So I've had to revert back to that hand-held, squeeze it like you're hanging on to the last limb overhanging the Grand Canyon death grip type.

Why is it that people in movies see people from the after-life looking old? "Oh, I saw Grandma, and she looked the same only happier." Wait a minute! She's in the after-life, and she should look better. I like to think that once we give up this worn out body, we should move into a newer, even better model. You know, something more along the line of the way I looked at 20. Trust me, you give Grandma a Brittany Spears body, and she'll look a whole lot happier.

On a personal note, thanks to everyone for helping me get one of those Top 1000 Contributors for 2010 decorations for my profile page. It was a nice surprise, but then again, you readers are the best. And as always, thanks for reading.