Ramblings from the Byrd Nest for February 23, 2011

When I was a kid, my mother would make me wear dresses that buttoned up the back, and usually there was a sash that had to be tied in a bow. I hated those things. There were always two buttons in the middle of my back that were unreachable from every direction. And as I look back, I have to wonder who thought of such a ridiculous idea? And you know that sash was never tied. I always thought it sort of made me look like I had a tail.

I saw ad in the paper in the other day for eye surgery saying "LASIK Special starting at $299. Safe, Easy and Affordable." Then I looked a little closer, and it read $299 per eye. My first thought was if you're going to advertise for surgery, these words need to be a lot bigger. Of course, I know very little about this type of thing, but it seems to me this is not something you want to look for too much of a discount or close-out sale.

Barnes Crossing Mall in Tupelo, Mississippi has instituted a new policy that anyone under the age of 16 visiting the mall on Friday and Saturday nights from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. The mall claims this is not because of any problem, but rather to encourage more family shopping trips. Well, isn't that every 16 year-old's dream, to have mom along on his date. And how many mothers want to drag that 16 year-old along on a shopping trip. I think the term "lead balloon" fits well here.

I understand there's a movement in Arizona to legalize people to carry guns. What a great idea. Let's give those same people who can't drive and talk on a cell phone at the same time the right to carry a loaded weapon around with them. Even better, let's mix alcohol in there, and we've reverted right back to the wild west.

Speaking of cell phones, why is it that those same adults who mindlessly wander around talking and texting on their cell phones allowing their car to wander all over the street, run stoplights and cause the rest of us to feel like we're driving in a bumper car ride punish their children for acting foolishly?

Why is it that we have special holidays for generic people such as "Presidents' Day" and not have a holiday for the guy who discovered germs? If anyone deserves a day in his honor, it's him.

Why is it that some people have 20/20 vision when they see the faults in others, but it suddenly reverts to 200/200 when they look into a mirror?

Why is it that we pay athletes and celebrities ridiculous salaries to entertain us and then ask school teachers to take a pay cut?

And finally, why do bathrobes not fall all the way to a person's ankles? Is it that the manufacturers think the bottom half of our legs never get cold, or maybe they think we're all short people? I wonder.

Hope this brightens your day a bit, and thanks for reading.

Source:

"The Oxford Eagle"