Random Thoughts from a Guy Who Can't Sleep--Music, Critters and the Death Penalty

It's 4:00 a. m. Central Standard Time in Tennessee, and here I sit, in front of the computer, suffering from another bout with my chronic insomnia. Seems like a perfect time to shoot the breeze with a windy missive, so here goes.

I'm a criminal defense attorney by trade, and somehow at the beginning of my career I became involved in capital murder litigation. In almost 30 years, I've handled 20 death penalty cases. I have only one client on death row, and have secured a couple of acquittals in these cases, a record that I'm quite proud of. With this type of involvement, you might think that I'm a rabid, anti-death penalty advocate, but that's not the case. In reality, I'm somewhat ambivalent on the death penalty, despite being rather liberal minded on most other issues (I've been accused of being to the left of George McGovern, and on some issues that's probably correct). I view my function as being an officer of the court, sworn to uphold the constitution and the laws of the state and federal government, and I do my dead level best to fulfill those duties. My views on the death penalty (or any other "hot potato" topic) are irrelevant to my duties as an advocate.

Did you know that John Lennon and Paul McCartney wrote "One After 909" as early as 1957 or 1958? Stranger and stranger still, the song never made it on an album until the end of the career of the Beatles, appearing on the album "Let It Be".

Speaking of the Beatles, some of their earliest names before becoming the Beatles were: Johnny and The Moondogs, The Quarrymen, the Silver Beatles, and the Nurk Twins. The "Beatles" was actually inspired by Buddy Holly and the Crickets, and "Beetles" actually became "Beatles", incorporating an obvious pun on the word "beat". Fascinating stuff, huh?

Down here in the south, we refer to any soft drink as a "coke". That doesn't mean we're talking about a Coca-Cola--whenever you go into a place to get a "coke", you might be going in to get a Dr. Pepper, an Orange Crush, or any other soft drink--you just call it a "coke". In my travels I've heard soft drinks called many things--pop, soda and bubble-up come to mind, but down here in Dixie, it's just a "coke".

When I was in college I played in a band that performed all over west Tennessee, sometimes as a warm up act for a regional star or sometimes as a backup band for said star. I've backed up saxaphonist Ace Cannon, country singer Narvel Felts, and a whole boatload of Elvis impersonators. I was hired to back up Charlie Rich of "Behind Closed Doors" fame at a show in Fulton, Kentucky, and the owner made the mistake of paying Charlie when we met about 4 hours before the show to briefly rehearse. He immediately went to a motel room and got in a poker game, losing all the money he'd been paid and getting quite drunk. When the show began, he did about three songs and walked off the stage, never to be seen again in those parts. At that time, he had had one minor hit--I believe it was "Mohair Sam", but after that he hit it big with "Behind Closed Doors", and there was no need after that to play with guys like me, get drunk and walk off the stage. Go figure.

Back in those days, I played on a bill with "The Killer", Jerry Lee Lewis. At one point in the evening, I went outside to get a little relief from the crowd, when up walks Jerry Lee, who asked me to hold his drink while he urinated. I did, and when I told my bandmates about it, they changed the story up to imply that I held another part of his anatomy while he urinated. Haha!--those guys were real comedians, let me tell you! I still hear about that 'till this day.

So much for my interludes with fame.

Revisiting the death penalty, most states now give the condemned person the option to elect electrocution or lethal injection. What mystifies me is that in lethal injection situations, medical personnel swab and sterilize the person's arm before the IV is started that will eventually put that person down for the "dirt nap". My question is---WHY? I mean, it's not like he's going to get an infection, is it? He's gonna be dead in 15 or 20 minutes, right? Seems like the last thing anyone should be worried about is sterilizing the IV site, but that's what they do--seen it myself.

Ever had a Moon Pie? You know, the sweet sandwich made of chocolate covered shortbread and a marshmallow center. Moon Pies are made in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and have been around since way before I was a kid. A Moon Pie and an RC Cola was a delicacy in my childhood, matching up like ham and eggs, salt and pepper, Rogers and Hammerstein.....you get the idea.

One of my favorite foods is "chitlins' ", chitterlings to those of you who are more refined than me. "Chitlins'" are fried pork intestines, particularly delicious when paired with a vintage Pinot Grigio, or even a nice bottle of Dom Perignon. Other pig parts that I've consumed (with great relish, I might add) are the testicles, the ears, the sweetbreads (pancreas), the lights (lungs), and the feet, affectionately referred to in the south as "pig knuckles". With a cold beer and a pickled egg on the side, it doesn't get any better, believe me.

Every year in April we have the "Reptile Roundup" where the above delicacies are served up, accompanied by such things as rattlesnake, wild turkey, emu, beaver, racoon, rabbit, possum, goat, duck, and just about any other type of roadkill you can imagine. You should join us next year!

Well, that's about enough from my sleep-deprived and fevered mind--just felt like I had to say these things. Please accept them in the spirit in which they are offered.

Thanks for reading.