Random Thoughts: Searching for New World

Hi, my name is H.A., and I'm a bubblegum dance addict. It's catchy and makes me happy and want to crush all happiness at the same time.

All right, moving on...

A Venezuelan TV channel yanked The Simpsons from its daily 11 AM time slot. The reason: It's inappropriate for children. The replacement: Baywatch Hawaii.

To China: You've been accused of various humans rights abuses, not to mention quite a good number of people remember Tiananmen Square. What did you expect?

A priest pleaded guilty to stalking Conan O'Brien. Um, I'm letting you lot make your own joke about this one.

If an army of penguins started a war with humans, I doubt we'd fight back, and even if we did, it'd be a losing battle even when we'd be winning.

A group of third graders in Georgia allegedly plotted to attack their teacher. I'm disturbed and impressed at the same time. I thought our educational system was turning out idiots.

Anyone else catch the mixed message our sports are giving us? You know, steroids bad, beer good?

We really need to protest the Westboro Baptists more often.

I've been told about the benefits of high heels. I still think it's best your feet remain flat on the ground.

I still think the Westboro Baptists hate penguins.

I can't help but wonder who I should despise more--the people who came up with The Moment of Truth or the people who competed on it.

I'm waiting for a female contestant on Hell's Kitchen to shove Jason into the stove while it's on. Or stab a knife into his back. Or make sure he isn't able to breed by using something sharp. You get the picture.

Take away all the crass stuff in George Carlin's material and you'll find some gems worth learning.

To you parents out there: If you keep belittling your kids, don't be surprised if they kill themselves or others.

My feelings on advertisements for genital herpes treatment are mixed. On the one hand, I can't help but feel embarrassed on the behalf of the actors involved. They have to act cheerful and make themselves smile while they talk about their incurable disease. On the other hand, work is work, and they're making more than what I'm making.

After seeing all those paparazzi cling onto Britney Spears's ambulance trying to get a picture of her, I'm slowly leaning towards favoring dropping them off on an island with a hunter who finds humans to be the most dangerous game.

Are we helping Knut the polar bear when we give him a lot of attention? Because I'm sure once he's no longer adorable, he'll maul anyone who ignores him.

I wonder if people really know what they're getting themselves into when they sign up for Hell's Kitchen.

Original English Language manga, world manga. Whatever you call it, it's just comics done in a style that imitates manga.

I'm still waiting for a certain children's card game to become a professional sport. On another note, it's interesting that the game is marketed at kids, but college-aged guys are the ones who attend and win at the big tournaments.

No matter how you feel about Michael Moore, at least he gets you to think. Ditto on Al Gore.

I'd better get a giant penguin suit just in case the penguins do declare war on humanity.

From the desk of H.A. Senidal, 4/9/2008