Raped

One July morning in 1996, my mother placed a frantic international call to Morelia, Mexico where I was vacationing with my aunts, uncles, and cousins. In a terrified voice, she broke the news that Jessica, my room-mate and best friend, was brutally ganged raped by five individuals inside our university apartment. Because the rape took place in my room, on my bed, and I was a male room-mate, the police were busy looking for me. However, after they verified that I indeed was in Mexico, they explained to me the many horrid details that Jessica endured. My heart broke. I wept tears of frustration and sadness for her.

Jessica is beautiful by birthright on the inside and especially the outside. Her petite and robust body is well adorned with an athletic frame. She sports dusty, dark-brown hair that complements her olive colored skin. Jessica's light-brown eyes sparkle when she smiles. The eye-pleasing, hour-glass figure she wears is always a target of observation, even from suitors of the same sex. Her well-endowed bosom dances delicately and gracefully with her curvaceous hips as she walks, filled with hope and excitement. Jessica radiates a positive aura that attracts people more than her physical beauty. Still, her most prominent feature was her contagious smile. Her smile heals the most despondent hearts, it melts the thickest ice, and it tames the wildest beasts. During our college years, Jessica was a popular student. She was always surrounded by people that wanted to feed off her energy and enthusiasm for life, and there were those who wanted to prey on her. On the evening of July 15, 1996, those who wanted to prey on her were successful.

It wasn't difficult for Jessica to plan, organize, and carry out a huge birthday party for our friend Casey. Even before the official invites were distributed, the relentless rumor-mill broad-casted the event and hundreds of our closest friends and remote acquaintances were already responding. On that fateful day, our little apartment was host to party so big, the walls of the enclosure were bursting at the seams. There was happiness and laughter everywhere. The music was deafening, the appetizers were sizzling, and the liquor was never ending. Bodies bounced against each other as they moved and gyrated their hips, shoulders, and arms to the thunderous and intoxicating beat of the music. Perspiration saturated Jessica's white tank top as the night wore on. The flirtatious mini-skirt she wore boasted her sensual legs and thighs. More and more people arrived at the party. One of Jessica's classmates Jake, whom she knew very little of, offered her a mixed drink. She accepted the drink as well as a request to dance with him. The only thing she knew about Jake was that he was an attractive "jock" who often received tutoring from the biology class teaching assistant. After a few minutes dancing with Jake, Jessica began experiencing a cramping feeling in the pit of her stomach. The room started spinning and she felt faint. Her vision was blurred. The last sight she remembered was Jake's face smiling victoriously.

Early the next morning, Jessica awoke on my bed with an excruciating pain in her rectum, a horrible, thick, and pasty fluid that gagged her throat, and a severe soreness in her vagina. To her terrifying horror, Jessica realized she was drugged and raped, repeatedly and brutally. Jessica is a fighter, a winner, and an achiever. She is strong. She knew instantly to call the police and to preserve the integrity of the crime scene. Jessica strategically did not contaminate the crime scene, a decision that would prove successful later on. When the police arrived, they asked the usual, insensible questions they are trained to ask of a rape "victim". Following a standard, generic protocol, the male officers invaded and violated (at least in her mind) Jessica's personal and private space to procure "solid evidence" against her attackers. After enduring a barrage of emotionally difficult questions, embarrassing photographs, and heart-wrenching memories, Jessica was released to the paramedics who quickly rushed her to the university hospital.

Upon arrival at the hospital, two male nurses attended her and dressed her superficial wounds. A female professional was not available to comfort Jessica or to provide her with a sense feminine support. Jessica endured this emotional and physical debauchery alone and terrified. Additional photos, questions, and memories were repeated and still no female support. It wasn't until my mother arrived that Jessica finally received the love, comfort, and support that she so badly needed. Jessica came from New York City and affectionately adopted my family as her own. She decided to not to let her parents know of the tragedy that befell her until an appropriate time. The physician on duty treated her for several hours. It was later disclosed to me that a plastic surgeon specializing in delicate surgical procedures was called in to repair severe anal tears, including a torn anal canal. Based on DNA evidence, it was determined that five individuals raped her. They penetrated her so brutally from behind that it caused internal hemorrhaging resulting from a torn anal canal and sphincter. Additionally, Jessica was given strong doses of methicillin to reduce that risk of life threatening throat infections resulting from the high levels of feces found in her mouth. Worst of all, it was her own feces which is medically more dangerous. While she was sedated, from a large dose of the date-rape drug Rohypnol, her attackers sodomized her and then proceeded to penetrate her oral cavity. Traces of crab and scabies mites and lice were found inside Jessica's mouth. Jessica was fortunate not to be one of many victims that died from asphyxiation caused by the penis blocking the airway in the esophagus. The police officer interviewing me explained that most suspects don't recognize that, although heavily sedated, the victim is still breathing and needs to continue breathing. It is a very common occurrence found in rape crimes when sedation is used. The suspect manipulates the head of the victim in a position that allows him to enter the mouth and manually engage the victim in oral copulation. In most cases, the adrenaline rush mixed with the sexual pleasure results in rendering the suspect incapable of thinking coherently. The suspect sustains his penis in the victims mouth, which slowly enters the actual esophagus or windpipe and therefore blocks the passage of air. The victim falls unconscious and eventual chokes to death.

Five individuals penetrated Jessica's rectum, mouth, and vagina causing severe damage emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Two were caught and given light jail sentences. The other three got off on technicalities. Jessica eventually overcame this trauma. She survived and continues to live a normal, healthy, and active life. Jessica lives a life without regrets and fear. However, she learned a valuable lesson that she wished for me to communicate to you. Jessica prays that this isn't just another entertaining story that you can sympathize or empathize with. She humbly requests that you learn from her mistakes to avoid situations that can lead to another instance of rape. Jessica is a co-founder and active member of The Rape Crisis Center in Los Angeles and has educated and supported thousands of rape survivors. She is currently in negotiations with producers of the Oprah Winphrey Show and has been approached by Life Time Cable Company to discuss the possible production of Jessica's story of survival.

What did Jessica learn from her ordeal? She only lists five tips here but you can find more at her website: http://www.therapecrisiscenter.org. When you are out in the social arena of life, never accept a drink from anyone, even from a female, and even if the drink is sealed. The drink may be drugged. Always travel and remain with at least three friends. Watch out for each other and never let your friends out of your sight. Men interpret your actions differently from what you intend them to be. Never give out any kind of signals a male may interpret as a free pass to sexual pleasure. Men think sexually at parties and other types of social gatherings. They are motivated by testosterone, and guided by liquor. They are not interested in the development of a potential friendship. Never flirt with males at parties or other social gatherings. They will take it the wrong way if they have dangerous or criminal intentions. Not all men are evil or rapist. I was raised in the roughest areas of New York City. I know where not to walk. I will not walk down a street with an ongoing history of crime wearing a gold Rolex watch, sporting the latest iPod, and flaunting a fat purse. Why won't smart http://www.therapecrisiscenter.org/tourist do this either? Tourists know (sometimes) instinctively not to go to certain areas. That's asking for trouble. Never wear seductive apparel at a party. I know you think it's your right, but would you walk down a dangerous street wearing expensive items? This is the same thing. Never, under any circumstances, feel that you are obligated to provide anyone with any kind of sexual favors.

Be strong, be independent, and be free. For more information, visit www.therapecrisiscenter.org and find out more about surviving rape. Discover the true joy of empowering yourself to regain your life. You're a survivor, never a victim. God Bless You.