RAW Takes a Little Step in a Big Way Forward

Monday Night RAW opened this week with D-Generation X and the glowstick parade, as questions remained from last week's show. Rather than address what the fans were interested in, HHH touched upon the damn midget in a matter of seconds, only to be told by Shawn Michaels that he had sent the trial-sized gimmick killer home, and it was time to get to serious business. From that point forward, the two men went into the standard "but I wanna win the Rumble, even though we are friends" yada yada yada. May have been a time-tested storyline cliche, but at least there were no guest hosts trying to run interference during this opening segment, as Michaels and Triple H made a tenative, if tense, agreement that business was business during the Royal Rumble match-up.

Legacy then hit the ramp for their non-title tag match against DX. Triple H and Cody Rhodes started the match off battling to gain an edge, but drawing up even. Michaels tagged in to run through his standard collection of rally spots (atomic drops, followed up by fists) as a set-up to a top-rope dive onto both Rhodes and DiBiase. A distraction by DiBiase enabled Legacy to put the brakes on DX's roll. Using the textbook tag team playbook, Legacy battered HBK, scoring several near falls along the way, and using a cheap shot to leave Michaels without a partner for a crucial tag. It may have been nothing special to the casual wrestling fan, but it was a possible way to build upon the tension between the Unified Tag Team champs heading into a big pay-per-view for both men, even though it was nothing special to even the more involved ring enthusiast. DX pulled it together long enough to dispose of Legacy, with HBK pinning DiBiase for the victory. It will be interesting to me to see how they further develop the program with Michaels and HHH on Friday night, with a tag team title match against CM Punk and Luke Gallows. This was not truly something spectacular, but it was solidly crafted, probably the best tag team match you will see on TV or PPV the first three months of this year.

With John Cena's guest spot on Psych getting the amount of attention one familiar with WWE TV could have predicted, it was kind of surprising not to see him open the show. Not that I am complaining, mind you, but this is the star of 12 Rounds we are talking about here. That was sarcasm, but I'm sure I didn't have to tell you that.

MVP hit the microphone before his match with The Big Show, breaking down for The Miz that the U.S. Champ could hide behind guest hosts and Show all he wanted, but in the final windup, MVP was going to defeat him for a third run as the United States Champion. The Miz has come a long way in my book since his debut, and the fact he made a sideways reference to prison sex at MVP's expense in the face of a PG product earns him a gold star this week. The fact MVP basically said The Miz would be a social butterfly in the joint, in the face of a PG product, earns him a gold star as well. Yeah, I might just start awarding gold stars, and I won't need Dennis Miller as a guest host to do it...

Once again, ten minutes on the mike, three minutes in the ring, if this match actually lasted three minutes. Show. Chokeslam. Pinfall. Squash match.

With Psych star James Roday out with an emergency appendectomy, it was up to co-star Dule Hill to pick up the slack, and his first segment with John Cena was bravely attempting that before The Miz popped up again to belittle Hill for not being as famous as he. Hill responded by telling Miz he had a match later in the evening, against an opponent of Hill's choice. Not as bad as most of the guest hosts I have seen before. There was hope yet to be had for this week's episode...

My future third ex-wife, Maryse, before her semi-final Divas Championship tournament match, started a promo on her inevitable Divas title win, only to be cut off by Dule Hill playing with the pyrotechnics control board. Refusing to accept Hill's apology, Maryse proceeded to give him a French tongue lashing (wait, let me let that concept sink in a bit...I need some alone time this weekend...). Not much remarkable about this match between Maryse and Eve Torres, but then again, there is not much remarkable about Eve Torres, in my humble opinion. Eve missed a moonsault, which is perfectly understandable, as she has the most hesitant offense of any of the Divas currently in WWE. Maryse hits the French Kiss DDT to score the pin and a trip to the Divas Championship finals.

Vince made his entrance to play with the crowd more on the Bret Hart situation, getting their hopes up and dashing them again in an instant classic. Vince roaming through the crowd asking them their opinion, that's comedy gold the way he played it. John Cena came out, because let's be honest, the marks must have been twitching and writhing in cold sweats without the premier t-shirt salesman in wrestling today. Going through the motions to convince Vince to invite Hart back (let's be honest, if anyone can do it, it's a guest star on the hit USA network series Psych), Cena succeeds, but at the cost of a great one-liner from Vince about "that orange crap" Cena wears. Also, was it me, or did Vince say "WB" instead if WWE on two separate occasions? I hate to make Aricept jokes, but...

...it was time for The Miz's match against Dule Hill's mystery opponent- Kofi Kingston. This was a great, fast-paced match from the opening bell, featuring several near falls in just the first two minutes. Working around Kofi's speed and high flight arsenal, Miz went about grounding his opponent and dishing out punishment. Hitting a high but awkward looking spot, Kingston only fazed Miz briefly, but MVP was there to pick up the slack, distracting Miz by making his way onto the ramp to "scout" the U.S. Champion. Capitalizing, Kingston hit Trouble in Paradise and gained the three count for a non-title victory that should play into his favor, should another push be coming his way...

Dule Hill was at it again, this time hanging around with Carlito in the WWE production trailer. Why Hill got saddled with Carlito, I'll never know. For that matter, where were the Bella Twins? Must be bad when you aren't even accessories, like every other week...In an amusing sketch, Hill uses the graphic generator to randomly select an opponent for Carlito- Kelly Kelly! Calling Hill the greatest guest host of all time on RAW, Carlito eagerly dashes off to...ahem...prepare.

For all the preperation, Kelly Kelly did not look happy at all to be making her way to ringside for this match. Santino Marella interrupted to come to her defense, saying he was out to make the Best of Raw 2010 DVD in a more positive way than last year. Nice plug for the DVD, nice way to get Kelly Kelly out of this segment. Jack Swagger then blindsided the Italian superstar, faceplanting him into a ringpost as a final insult. In an added bonus, NO Swagger on the mike. At this point, RAW has already and is continuing to exceed my expectations...

Dule Hill was back with Cena, this time having a speakerphone call with the hospitalized James Roday. While this was funnier than I thought it was going to be, Alicia Fox enters to try and sway Hill for a "result" on her match. Hill says he will be at ringside to act as her "good luck charm," and gets threatened for his efforts. Especially enjoyed the hanging up on Roday part of the segment. Oh well, if he is going to miss guest hosting the first decent RAW of 2010, at least he gets a morphine drip for his troubles.

Joining the broadcast team as Alicia Fox and Gail (no entrance again this week) Kim were set to determine Maryse's opponent in the Divas Championship tournament finals, Hill did not bring good luck, or much of anything else positive to this match. An aggressive if often sloppy match drowned out by the deafening sounds of silence, as Gail Kim figured out a way to score a pinfall. Following the match, Fox slaps an apologetic Hill to the ground, which actually wasn't a bad spot by Hill. Actually halfway funny, not slobbering all over the product and mispronouncing stuff, AND can take a bump? Hope he doesn't get hooked on this, or Abraham Washington might get his release.

Hell with all that, though...it was time for non-title main event action between WWE Champion Sheamus and John Cena. The match started with both men trying to feel each other out with displays of power before they gave up and decided to slug it out. I don't know about you at home, faithful reader, but I for one am tired of hearing Michael Cole announce stuff like "Cena with a fisherman's suplex." That, my friend, is the loosest version of a fisherman's suplex I have ever seen, bar none, hands down. I know Cole's job is to put the wrestlers over on the microphone, but it is no excuse to enable laziness.

Taking control of the match, Sheamus went back to his typical smash mouth style, leaving Cena struggling on the outside. There would be a rally, but the Irishman has been watching his tapes, countering the attitude adjustment and turning it into a DDT. The fight went outside, where the Champ sent Cena into the stairs. Barely beating the ref's count back into the ring, Cena goes through his five knuckle shuffle motions, but Sheamus was all over Cena's finishing moves, as he would counter yet another attitude adjustment as well as an STF. Looks like someone has figured out the DiVinci code that is You Can't See Me. As the match was winding down, Randy Orton hit from out of nowhere with an RKO on Sheamus, giving the WWE Champ the disqualification win (technically, as they never seem to announce it when it goes the heel's way in a non-title match). Orton tried to lock Cena into the hanging DDT, but Cena was a step quicker, laying Orton out with an attitude adjustment. This was not a bad way to end RAW, I thought, and that even factors in the involvement of Cena. This gave neither man in the WWE Championship match the momentum going in, and that makes their showdown even more of a toss-up.

RAW Results:

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions D-Generation X defeated Legacy in non-title action

The Big Show defeated MVP

Maryse defeated Eve Torres in a Divas Championship tournament semi-final

Kofi Kingson defeated U.S. Champion The Miz in non-title action

Kelly Kelly vs. Carlito did not happen (hey, that's why they say "Card Subject to Change."

Gail Kim defeated Alicia Fox in a Divas Championship semi-final

WWE Champion Sheamus defeated John Cena by DQ in non-title action

Bottom Line: A-. Yes, you read that right. This was a Monday Night RAW worthy of at least a low A. You had a guest host comfortable enough with his surroundings not to act like a jackass. You had some decent matches this week, enough to mask the taste of two Divas matches. The backstage antics were kept within the realm of reason, and to top the cake, no damn midget. They may have done a bit of extra credit this week to bring up the grade, but at least we didn't see yet another b-lister don the tights to add jabrone to their resumes...We'll see if William Shatner can keep the streak going next week. What's that you say? One good show isn't a streak? Is it when you have been limping to the barn for as many weeks as this brand has...