Reading the Signs - Is Your Teen Romance on the Rocks?

What are the dead give-aways that your teen relationship may be dead in the water? Young romance has no magic formula, but certain clear signs often appear when the end is looming.

Here are several flashing neon signs you can spot, whether you are a boy or a girl. Most of these possibilities are two-way streets. You can easily substitute "him" for "her," and vice versa.

Are you ready for reality? Try these tests on for size, as you evaluate the health of your teen relationship.

First, a word of warning is warranted. These are questions you should ask yourself, not necessarily your boyfriend or girlfriend. (Duh.)

Got a clue?

When you drive by her house, do the shades suddenly go down, so it appears no one is home?

Does he refuse to look directly at you when you speak in person? Does he shift his weight from one foot to another and act as if he may not be listening at all?

Has she stopped hanging out at your locker after school each day? Does she fail to bump into you in the regular spots during the day?

Have you seen him laughing and talking with another girl in the halls at school? Does he seem to enjoy their company, while he seems somehow quieter with you lately?

Does she look away when you try to kiss her at the end of a date? Does she cling to the passenger door when you drive her somewhere in your car?

During your last conversation, did he answer any question with the word, "Whatever"?

Have your get-togethers gradually become less enjoyable and more tension-filled? Does it feel as if the mystery and fun have left your shared moments?

Do you find yourselves arguing more frequently, even about dumb things? Have you found it difficult to explain things clearly to one another?

Have you left more than one voice-mail message, and she still won't return your call? Do you feel the need to mask your caller identity information to telephone her, just in case she is screening her calls?

Did you send him two e-mails, and he hasn't responded? Are your instant messages simply piling up in his in-box?

When you see her in public, is she suddenly surrounded by her friends and unavailable to you?

Are other girls paying him more attention than usual? Does he seem to enjoy this?

Has she uttered those dreaded four words, "We need to talk"?

What to do:

Be direct with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but try not to be paranoid. Continually evaluating and analyzing your relationship can quickly become tiresome to both you and your partner. On the other hand, if you truly are concerned that there may be a legitimate problem, it's time to speak up.

Attempt to identify what is wrong and whether it can be fixed. Is it a simple misunderstanding, or a deep-rooted problem?

Decide for yourself. If the relationship has become shaky, do you really want to continue working at it? Is it worth it?

Avoid the stalking trap. During the dating years, most relationships are temporary. Eventually, you may find your lifetime companion, Mr. or Miss Right. However, in the meantime, even a class ring doesn't lock you in for life. If it's over, you do not help your own cause by looming in your ex-boyfriend's or ex-girlfriend's life. In fact, you may build yourself a rather scary reputation!

Resist the temptation to make him or her jealous. All too often, jilted lovers hook up immediately with new, highly visible partners, just to draw the attention of the ones who rejected them. This hardly ever works out well, and it often leads to additional scarring. Besides, the new partners don't deserve to be used this way, as second-choice decoys. This is both unfair and unkind.

Be assertive. If you know it's over, why not end it yourself? Save yourself the shock of the impending ambush. Speak kindly and directly, and explain how you believe it is best for both of you to move on, while you can still do so in a friendly manner.

Be mature. If you can be sincere, authentic, and grown up about a breakup, you will be much better equipped to move on with your life. Seek the assurance and encouragement of your true friends. Avoid bad-mouthing your ex. This will only backfire upon you, as others grow wary of falling into a similar fate.

Live on. After all, you have plenty of attraction and lots of excellent characteristics. After all, this boyfriend or girlfriend saw something wonderful in you. Others will see it too! Cultivate your best traits, and enjoy life. Something even better may be just around the corner.