Readings and Thoughts on Creative Nonfiction

Author: May Sarton

Sarton writes about her anger issues. Ever since she was young, she had anger problems, but she always felt guilty about it and she has always wanted to control it. Every time she f eels herself get out of control, she feels incredibly guilty, yet little things set her off, such as having a guest over. However, she is working to control her issues, because she does not want to be lonely, and she has managed to find love and she wants to keep it. I thought this was an interesting piece because it was so personal, and the writer clearly wants to change her ways.

Below are a few select quotes from the piece, along with some of my thoughts regarding them.

Yesterday picked mushrooms on the front lawn, and a cup of raspberries for Mildred.

I like this because it sounds like an authentic journal, where you want to get your ideas down and don't necessarily worry about grammar.

She and I have lived through a lot of joy and grief together and now they are "woven fine" through all that we exchange.

I like how earlier the author wrote about spider webs, and then connects that to her friendship with Mildred.

It is never a waste of time to be outdoors, and never a waste of time to lie down and rest even for a couple hours. It is then that images float up and then that I plan my work.

I like the repetition in the way the writer begins these sentences. I also like the emphasis on it never being a waste of time to relax and enjoy the outdoors, and that is what inspires her to write.

Depression eats away psychic energy in a dreadful way. But of course it did me good to make the effort.

I like the general statement about depression, and also that the writer knows she is depressed and wants to do something to change that.

I feel crippled, unable to speak, having uttered horrible things. These angers are crippling, like a fit when they happen, and then, when they are over, haunting me with remorse.

It's interesting how she emphasizes the crippling effect of her anger, and how sometimes she screams so loudly she loses her voice.

Those who know me well and love me have come to accept them as part of me; yet I know they are unacceptable.

I like how this tells how much her friends and family love her, and I realize this is a journal, but I feel like it could have been a better story if it elaborated and gave an example of when her friends and family put up with her and showed they love her no matter what.

This suggest that at that age I was aware even while in the tantrum that somehow it had to be controlled, that I needed help, as we say these days.

I like the introspection, and that the writer has clearly taken the time to think about her anger issues, which shows she really is trying to control them.

At such times I really feel as if my head were going to burst and there is no doubt that the tantrum itself is a release. But it is paid for very heavily in guilt and shame.

This captures exactly how Sarton feels about her episodes. She can't seem to help them, yet she knows she can't keep having them.

For the very thing that made her an angry person also gave her amazing strength with which to meet every kind of ordeal.

This is an interesting concept. Although anger can be damaging, it can also prepare you for anything.

A sturdy plant is a great comfort.

Sarton repeatedly mentions plants, and outdoors, and nature. Perhaps she keeps going back to it because it calms her and keeps her sane.