Real Dolls: A Sex-Positive Feminist's Examination
For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, open up a new tab and Google "Real Doll" (sorry, I can't link the site as it is adult in nature). Your first hit should be the official website for Real Dolls, the full-sized, silicone-and-rubber sex dolls that some men are willing to spend thousands of dollars to own.
Meanwhile, many feminists are unsettled by the potential ramifications of women being so easily replaced by plastic.
First of all, I must confess that when I look at these things, my first opinion of them springs not from my inner feminist, but from my inner special effects designer. These things are amazing examples of craftsmanship! Honestly, I'd pay a lot of money to learn technique from the people who make these, because they really do look incredibly realistic (and learning how to make convincing looking fake bodies is kind of a dream of mine, though for rather different reasons).
However, it puzzles me a little to see such artistic talent go into this kind of a product, and it makes me wonder if artisans with this much ability and sensitivity to detail can display the same sensitivity to the effects products like this have on society.
I myself have something of a hard time figuring out what to say about Real Dolls. On the one hand, I'm a very sex-positive feminist. I support sex and men's sexuality, including masturbation, toy, and porn usage. I also don't think it's necessarily crazy to spend a truly ridiculous amount of money on a sex product, if that's what you're really into.
But while I feel that guys are far too often demonized by women (and bad feminists, both male and female) for expressing their natural urges, I reserve the right to criticize aspects of the sex industry for catering to patriarchy and dominance more than they cater to healthy and natural sexual desire.
As such, Real Dolls make me uneasy. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe for an instant the makers of these dolls sat down at their drawing table and said, "Let's design a product that will be the ultimate in portraying women as objects and promoting unrealistic beauty standards," but that's just what Real Dolls do; the product is merely a response to an already sickened state of society.
I say this because of what I've learned about the sorts of men who buy them. The price of these things (upwards of $6,000 apiece) means that, generally speaking, they're not a sex toy, they're a lifestyle decision. In addition to the detailed testimonials you can read on the Real Doll website, there have been books, documentaries, and even a feature film (Lars and the Real Woman) made about the kinds of guys who buy Real Dolls, not just as a way to get their rocks off, but as a genuine substitute for a real woman. In fact, they often say something along the lines of, "this is so much better than a real woman," and that's when this author starts to get a serious case of the jibblies.
What does it say about the state of our society when there are men who consider an inanimate object to not only be a suitable replacement for a real women, but an improvement?
The me, the answer seems obvious: we have pushed so hard the notion that the ideal woman is an object of physical perfection and non-personhood, that now we are seeing the ultimate expression of that ideal in the form of "women" who are no longer even people.
She can't move. She can't argue. She can't disapprove. She can't have opinions of her own or express herself, because there's nothing to express. Her body will never change from the cold (literally and figuratively), unattainable ideal it is now. She cannot love or hate or converse or dream, she has no needs or desires, no talents or aspirations. She cannot challenge you or support you, nor can you do either of these for her. She is every bit as human as your sofa.
And to some men...she's perfect.
Am I the only one who thinks there might be something wrong with that?
Published by Lauren Vork
In addition to my writing on AC, I co-write for a radical political website at www.lib8.org. For any ehow.com folks who might be checking: I do also write under the name "Laurelgardner," and yes, that's... View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentAs an author and editor of erotica, I have a very open mind. I don't have a problem with sex dolls, especially since they are not just for men. Not every man who owns a sex doll thinks of women in a negative way - so I guess that's my problem with your article. There are many reasons for owning a sex doll. (My article at AC is Top Sites for Realistic Sex Dolls.) I love Orient Industry. I think the Asian looking dolls are beautiful.
Yes, I'm writing as if this is social mania. That's why I open the article by explaining what the heck I'm talking about.
Read what you want into this article, everyone, but it's only meant to ask questions.
You write the article as if the market for real dolls is something so in demand that it is a social mania. Its not. I for one could not satisfy myself with the illusion of the real doll...Ok, it could work at one of those moments when morning wood is knocken and there aint no answer...But that's more of a masturbation thing and not a relationship with a woman.
Now if they could get the pheromone thing going and program a personality to the dolls...When then babe women do have something to worry about...
It's not all men who are doing it, but the ones who do are probably just lonely, and how can anyone say they are wrong to have a love doll if that is their only way to get love? Women get lonely too, and I would be willing to bet that in the future more women will be having male love dolls as well. Some say humans will have sex with robots in the future, it will be a common thing. I think these men should be viewed with compassion, not condemnation. "There but for the grace of God go I..." is very true...
vibrating/rubber vagina, or for those who have the money a fancy love doll. People just like to do what is fun and feels good for them sexually, so don't judge, its not your problem.
As a teen when I first found out most women enjoy using a dildo/vibrator more than sex with a man, and I felt threatened, but pretty quickly I learned to be happy for them. Whatever makes people happy is for them to decide if it is right or not, I wouldn't care at all if women upgraded from dildos to full size male dolls. I would be very happy for them!
Female fantasies are quite different then men as well, and this part of why I think they cannot understand that most men can masturbate to a comic book illustration of a beautiful woman for example, as easily as he can with a full size doll. Its just a lot more fun to probably do it with the doll than your own hand for so many reasons.
I could also go on about the many practical and logical situations in which this can make a tremendous dif
have the same body as the doll and he still wants to occasionally sex the doll, go see a therapist about it, or trust in him saying that he finds your body to be beautiful too.
The truth is in my opinion that most women view sex with men, sexual fantasy, and the physical body of a men much more differently than a men do women. I believe women in general are far more tied to the emotional meaning behind sex and having a close relationship mentally with a partner, rather than the physical aspects of another person as well as the mental. Men also typically love having close mental relationships too, but there is far more excitement when that person also turns you on sexually with their physical body.
Ironically, many women don't find it weird to use a dildo to get off, even if they are involved with someone who they love, in fact many women cannot achieve orgasm or as good of an orgasm with a real man as they can with their toy. Yet they find it strange that a man would use a
If most women were turned on physically by dolls the way that men are, there would be no issues with dolls, there would be no judgment toward men for finding the doll sexy. I find it extremely odd that so rarely women buy male versions, you would think they would find having sex with a fantasy person as exciting as men find it. I believe no one has the right to judge any of these people, they all have their own reasons for it, and as long as its not hurting anyone its none of your business.
Now if your boyfriend wants to get one and your jealous, it is your business, but take up your issue with him and not the entire community of people. If your sexy and easy to get along with you have no need to be jealous anyhow, no doll can compare to a human yet or anytime soon. You don't have to have a perfect body either for the man to love you dearly or deeply enjoy sex with you. If you have your own self image issues even though your man tells you your beautiful because you don't hav
I think women have some real competition with these real dolls. Studies have proven that women use sex in order to obtain material goods, money or some other gain. I have been the victim of many a dishonest female and I can tell you that women are not all made from sugar and spice. However, I do not ever plan on buying a real doll. You just have to find the right woman... and hope she doesn't file a false police report against you once she finds the BBD.