"Real Housewives of Atlanta" Season 3 Finale Recap

All I have to say is thank the stars in Heaven for Sheree and Phaedra. Never in a million years would I think 18 weeks ago I would be saying that, but I am. Were it not for those two being completely hilarious with their unintentional zingers, I think we'd be back in therapy again like the Beverly Hills finale. Because boy oh boy this was some depressing stuff.

Of course I'm talking about the wedding, and we'll get to that in a few, but first let's talk about the other things that happened before that trainwreck...

Let's talk about Mizz Lawrence if yer nasty. He debuted "Closet Freak" looking like...well...a Can Can Girl that got hit by the A Clockwork Orange wardrobe truck...so yeah...I guess that's a "Closet Freak" for ya. Shock of the century, NeNe had something to say about it, but mostly as a means to slam Kim some more. As if Kim isn't fully aware of what it is she actually does. That's what I love about this 'feud'...because it's really just NeNe short circuiting all over the place.

Then we got to see Cynthia cry about not being able to cover the bar tab at her Funeral wedding. So she calls her dad, and he can't cover it, so she cries. But does she cancel the wedding after the 976th omen that it was probably not a good idea? Nope. The altar could bust into flames and Cynthia would still go through with the wedding just to save face. Someone that picks a gray dress to get married in isn't thinking happy thoughts about the wedding...I'm just sayin'.

So let's talk about something heart warming now, and that's Phaedra's going back to work after having lil' Ayden. Her friend, the one that said, "umbiblical cord" is going to care for Ayden while mommy is working, and it was cute to see Phaedra get upset about leaving him, because she acted like having the baby around would be totally annoying. I've come around with Phaedra...sure she's an idiot with her canned meat, drag queen makeup, and 10lb preemies, but she's not evil, and actually really funny.

Kandi and Kim had a talk about 'bidnezz' and..well...they just agreed to have their "people" handle it. And we all know how that turned out...

Sheree's audition was pretty funny. Of course she knows EVERYTHING about everything, so she basically re-wrote the script and did what she wanted to do...which almost got her dismissed because it was simply awful. But one she knocked it off and did it right, it really wasn't all that bad. In fact, dare I say, Sheree can probably act.

NeNe's son Brice is still useless. The End. Oh and Gregg tried to apologize to her, but all she did was give him a long hard side eye the whole time. I didn't buy it either. That was pure damage control.

Kim got her bubbies redone. I can't tell...but whatever. It gave her a reason to hook up a PA and microphone so she could summon her servant, Sweetie from her bed. Not at all like a slave. Not at all.

Ok, now that we have the housekeeping out of the way, let's talk about this funeral wedding. Now I've been married a couple of times, and all brides have the hiccup of doubt on their wedding day...but it's generally just a momentary thing and your overwhelming lurrrvey lurve for the guy and the excitement of the day typically washes it all away.

Cynthia is acting like it's the night before her execution. She knows this is bad, bad times. Her mother knows this is bad, her sister knows it's bad, hell, the mailman knows it's bad...but Cynthia isn't going to be 43 and a perpetual "Runaway Bride." Nope. She's going to show the whole world she can do this, even if she's miserable. She's going to get down that aisle even if she has to start drinking at 7am. This is happening.

So it's time for the wedding, and everyone shows up, Sheree brings Mizz Lawrence dressed in his best sequined bolero, blah, blah, blah, Dwight, boring, boring, boring...oh hey! Look! Kim brought her new meal ticket and future child support payer, Kroy! Well would ya look at that. Just last week she was offering herself up to a creepy dude that lived with life sized dolls all over his mansion so she could use his pool, and now she's an honest woman. Good for you Kim...good for you.

Everyone takes their seats...Peter comes out dressed in the most ridiculous suit I have ever seen. Did he and Cynthia talk to each other about what they would be wearing, because none if it matched.

I liked the museum for a wedding, it was different in a very classy way, but I did see what everyone was saying about the lack of flowers or SOMETHING to warm it up a bit. But I guess when you're about to head into a brief, loveless marriage, you want to set the mood and make it as cold and bare as possible with bones everywhere.

Naturally, up until the last second, Cynthia is trying to deny the gut churning feelings she's having about this being a bad idea. And everyone's looking around like, "uh-oh...she bolted, told ya she'd bolt."

Eventually Cynthia makes it down the aisle looking like a deer in headlights on the way to slaughter the whole time. She mutters, "I do" and it's a done deal. She's married...she did it. She got down the aisle.

The reception was fine, I guess. Boring, boring boring, drinking, drinking, drinking...Sheree and Phaedra being silly...Peter and Cynthia eat some ugly, sad, gray cake, Dwight and NeNe make up...boring, boring, boring.

That does it for this season 3 of our Georgia Peaches. It was a loooooong season. I think this wedding they so desperately wanted for this finale kind of sucked the air out of the season. It was just sad. Not funny, dramatic, over the top...none of the things that made the beginning of this season so special it was just sad.

But never fear, Andy will make it up to us in the reunion, or as I like to call it, an hour of NeNe shouting. Maybe that'll make this flat finale better. What did you think of this season of RHOA? Better than last year or just as disappointing?

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