Real Housewives of Orange County Reign Supreme in Season 5 Opener

The Grande Dames of Bravo's Real Housewives franchise, "The Real Housewives of Orange County," wasted no time in going for the jugular in tonight's season premiere. The claws came out early and often and this O.C. freight train shows no signs of slowing down.

Our favorite workaholic, Miss Vicki, crossed sky-diving off her bucket list as her daughter, Briana convinced her to give it a try. Amazingly, Vicki didn't utter her signature "woo hoo!" as she was too terrified to make the sound come out. Vicki's kids seem to be doing well, (Briana didn't join the Army after all and son Michael is following her into insurance). It also appears Vicki and her long-suffering husband, Donn, are back on track. So much so, Donn dropped some dough on a six-carat ice cube for Miss Vicki's finger. A few seasons back at Tamra's birthday party, Vicki lamented that Simon bought Tamra a Rolex, while she had to buy her own, because Donn never bought her anything. I think you're even now Vicki.

While Vicki and Donn are filling up each other's love tanks, Barbie and Ken aka, Tamra and Simon, look to be headed for splitsville. During their brief screen time together, the pair sniped at each other and during lunch with BFF Vicki, Tamra alluded to financial difficulties taking their toll on the relationship (this past summer, the Barney's put their house on the market, but later pulled it off.) Vicki mused to Donn that Simon kept Tamra on a tight leash and Tamra bemoaned her hubby's uptight ways. Maybe Simon's not down with the fact Tamara has acquired a gay husband, a long-standing Real Housewives tradition.

Mama Bear Jeana has fallen on hard times. Once the real estate queen, her income has taken a hit and she's also put her house on the market. Original Housewife Jeana isn't long for Season Five, as she'll depart mid-season to focus on family and finances. Jeana even asked Vicki for a loan, which put another load on their already strained relationship (Jeana's inability to sell Vicki's second home, the Frankie debacle, and so on and so on). Once upon a time, Jeana and Vicki were thick as thieves, but doesn't look like they'll be planning a girlfriend getaway anytime soon.

While Vicki and Jeana are breaking up, Lynne and Tamra are making up. Last season, Tamra didn't care too much for ditsy new Housewife, Lynne, but the two have since become BFF's. Lynne's on a mission to show her fellow Housewives what's what as she dedicates herself to growing her jewelry business. Her family's going to need all the help it can get as they are served an eviction notice later in the season.

Gretchen, the O.C's most controversial Housewife, kept the tabloids and Internet quite busy over the summer with her antics. Lynne called her out for making bad choices in men and Gretchen owned up to not always thinking straight when it came to the company she kept. Speaking of bad choices, Gretchen has hitched her wagon to Housewives stud, Slade. Slade lived with Jo de la Rosa during Season One and later dated Lauri, who later famously said Slade really wants to be a Housewife. We'll he's wormed his way back into the Housewives universe by sidling up to Gretchen. Even creepier was Gretchen's declaration that Jeff (her late fiancé) brought her Slade. She didn't need Jeff for that, 'cause Slade gets around.

By the end of the night, fangs were bared as Lynne gathered the ladies together to show off her jewelry line. There was tension between Jeana and Vicki and the lid blew right off the pot when sworn enemies Tamra and Grethen came face-to-face. Tamra has made no secret of the fact she hates Gretchen and after staying quiet, Gretchen swung back. Tamra told Gretchen she didn't want to be friends with a hooker and Gretchen told Tamra to shut the "f*&! up." It would have made the night if someone could have gotten naked wasted.

Another blonde is on the way as Alexis Bellino joins the cast soon. Wow. Once Jeana leaves, Lynne will be the sole brunette! Only two episodes in and it's already time to diversify.