'Real Housewives of Orange County' Season 6 Premiere Recap..

So last night we went back to Ladera Ranch Newport Beach Orange County and got ourselves reacquainted with our bevy of botoxed beauties. We all know the first episodes are a snorefest because Bravo likes to think we actually care about what these women have been up to in the last year.

Let's revisit...

Vicki

Vicki's working, y'all. Michael has apparently given up the life of an online gambler for insurance selling, and she got all wood floors in her house. I know...try to contain your excitement. We saw the long suffering Donn, and things seemed pretty ok there in ol' Coto. She kind of doesn't trust Tamra anymore after she stabbed her in the back not too long ago, and we all fell asleep in our goblets of Chardonnay with the only original cast member left.

Gretchen

Gretchen is working too...making purses and makeup...which gave us the best line of the night from Vicki, "Prada, Gucci, NOT Gretchen." HA! So yeah, Gretchen is in lurrve with her houseboy Slade Sludgefeller, and hee-haw, hee-haw, guffaw, guffaw isn't she just the cutest? Not really. What did she do to her face? Did you see her without makeup? Whoaaaaa.... still has the best. hair. ever. though so there's that.

Tamra

Oh Tamra. Oh annoying Tamra and her sneering annoyingness. She thinks she is just the cat's meow, doesn't she? Hasta la Pasta Simon, Tamra here is the SHIZZNIT with a capital 's.' You might have plucked her off the stripper pole 15 years ago, but now she's a bonafide classy lady and having her tacky tatts removed! No tramp stamp there! No sireee! She now has a Latin Lover and it's time to step up her game! Not to mention she hangs out with Brazilian lesbians, too. Wow Tammy Sue...look at you.

Alexis

Poor Jesus Barbie Alexis. Not only is she going to make us tear out our hair and scream about her setting the women's movement back a hundred years with her out of context Biblical babbling, but we get to watch her 'raise' her kids now. You know, times have been bad for her husband Ed Hardy, Sr. so she's down to only one Nanny. Poor kid. Hang on while I pretend to weep. I don't know how you do it Jugs! Here I thought I had it bad with the whole full time job and three kids under six thing with no nannies. That's rough stuff, girl.

Anybody else to catch up with? Not really. I guess we'll hear from the newbies and some of the oldies making a cameo eventually, but for now that's what's going on with our four core monsters.

So anyhoozer, Tamra gets this brilliant idea to have everyone out to her new boyfriend's pad for drinks and shopping. Gretchen would rather eat her own hair than attend something thrown by Tamra, but hey, she's contractually obligated to attend and all that.

Alexis gets everyone a limo, because "Mama needs a drink, not a DUI," and everyone heads to the Schaumburg of the OC, Ladera Ranch to have some booze and clothes with Tamra and her posse.

Blah, Blah, Blah, Boring, Boring, Boring Boring... eventually Gretchen snipes at Tamra and Tamra gets all sneery and passive aggressive like she always does, and it becomes the usual tennis match of "Naked Wasted" vs. "Gold Digger" we've seen a thousand times before. Yawn.

That little spat puts a damper on things, and Alexis even tries to talk some sense into Gretchen in the limo, but Gretchen hates Tamra and the issue will simply never die. Back in Ladera Ranch, Tamra is making her biting snide remarks and we feel comfy and familiar with this once again.

As far as first episodes go, not a bad one. But if it's going to be nonstop Rossi v. Barney all season that's going to get old pretty fast. What did you think of the premiere? Did it get you excited for this new season, or are you already over it?

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