Real Reasons Why Teens Don't Tell on Their Bully's

Recently, my 15 year old son was bullied by his peers on the bus ride home from school. The interesting fact is he never told me -- he was in essence, protecting the bullies that tore his spirit down so begrudgingly.

The incident took place after school near the back of the school bus with several other children present --including my other two children. Granted, the bus ride from school to home is only 20 minutes, so one would think that not too much can happen in such a short time frame, but that was not the case. Most teenage bullies start right in with their taunting and teasing, they don't like to prolong their attacks.

There were two brothers who started in on my son after he sat down in the last seat available on the bus. They taunted him and said that he couldn't sit there because one of their friends was going to sit there. My son proceeded to tell them to "back off" and that he could sit where ever he wanted. Then he turned around and ignored them.

After a few minutes of them calling him several derogatory names, he finally turned around again and asked them to politely "Please stop!" I was upset to hear that my son didn't want to tell the bus driver what was going on, but as I later learned, that is not the "cool" thing to do.

They actually did let up for a few minutes and he thought that everything was over -- then he felt the rush of cold liquid go down his back. The boys had dumped ice-cold Powerade down the back of his shirt, on top of his head, then all over his books and book bag. He still chose to sit there and remain attacked. His sisters at this point told the bus driver and the bus driver took one look at my son and chuckled. By this time, it was time for him to depart the bus at his home bus stop.

My son is not a weakling -- he is over six-feet tall and carries with him a confidence that he no one should think to mess with him physically or emotionally.

What amazes me is that the other students just sit there and watch as if it is a free-for-all show. They don't typically raise a hand or voice to help a victim out. Where are they learning this from? Maybe It is learned behavior that is passed down from past generations.

When my daughters came home and told me, I was shocked that my son hadn't said one word about what happened. When I approached him initially on it, he said it was no big deal and didn't want to talk about it, like it wasn't a big deal.

At fifteen, he is growing up, but he still has feelings. My immediate response was to call the principal and he said if I did he would never go back to school again -- that was narking and he would rather get beat up than be a nark.

I was speechless, I couldn't believe that most kids are so likely to think that they cant even go to a supervisor or parent when a problem arises. It is almost like they would rather take a beating than have a bully pay for what he did.

My first response was to wait for the bus the next day and go on and confront the two boys--but I knew that wasn't the answer.

After sitting down and talking with my son, we both agreed we would wait and see what the next day would bring and see if they would try anything else.

As a parent, I couldn't just sit back and wait for them to attack my son again, so I went ahead and emailed the principal to inform him what had happened on the bus -- even though my son begged me not to. I explained that I just wanted the bus driver to be more aware of what these boys were doing.

I did get a response back from the principal saying he wanted to talk to my son more, I said that he wasn't comfortable doing that and that I just wanted to make him aware of the situation. I don't know if anything happened to the boys thereafter, except they haven't rode the bus ever since and never spoke with my son again.

Here are a few silent signs that your child or teenager may be a victim of bullying:

He avoids wanting to go school or refuses to ride the bus or walk to school. Sudden changes in wanting to go to school, need to be addressed and investigated.

He is ravenously hungry after school. This could indicate a bully is stealing his lunch.

Personal effects and school supplies come up missing. He may have said he lost his backpack, when in fact, his bully took it.

Thoughts of hurting himself or talk of suicide.

Scars, bruises, torn clothing, damaged personal effects.

My plea to any parent out there reading this is that you need to teach your children to not bully or make fun of other children. One snide remark can scar a child's self esteem for the rest of his life. Teach your own children to be loving and giving human beings. Teach kids not to pick on others who may be different from them. We need to break the cycle of bullying and control anger management once and for all. Kids have more important things to worry about when going to school-- such as getting a good education.

It can be a very heart-wrenching moment when your child comes home after being verbally and physically assaulted on the school bus. I thought schools were supposed to be safe for our children, not a dangerous dodge-ball course.

Breaking the cycle of bullying, starts at home with positive parenting skills and discipline reinforcement.