Reality TV Show Idea: Stalk the Paparrazi

I'd love to see a reality TV show called "Stalk the Paparazzi." It's really a simple premise. You get some of the rudest and most obnoxious paparazzi to sign up and the prize would be like a million dollars, all donated by the celebrities they like to stalk. Or if the money isn't good enough, maybe an exclusive photo op at the end for the winner featuring, Tom Cruise's alien child. That might work - especially if they let Suri's antennae up for the photos! We all know we're dying to see her cute little face!

That's where the fun begins. See…It isn't enough that we stalk these paparazzi; no we got to give them an incentive to be their natural Jerry Springer-like selves (because we all know that makes great reality TV!). Well, actually now that I think about it, it shouldn't be very hard to do. So, moving on…

So, I guess I better focus on the house. We all know that in any good reality TV show we got to have the house where they all stay. It can be decorated with wax figures of all the people they stalk. I think maybe some might not like the glowing red eyes I plan on sticking in Angelina Jolie's dummy, but we'll find out when they go to sleep and the lights turn out. I plan on putting them in their bedrooms. The pictures in the wall will also have peepholes for all the Celebrities who might want to take a turn out of stalking their most annoying paparazzi. And of course, they'll be told that that not all the mirrors are one way - some are two!

Let's not forget the lavatories. I think part of this series should have the hidden camera in the loo. They'll only be told that while they're doing their business, if they see the light in front of the toilet turn red, they're being photographed. I guess I should put three of these warning lights in the loo, just to make it funnier. We might want to lace the dinner with laxatives, you know how producers like to rig the shows.

Of course, we got to schedule the "this is your life moment" for them too. The unexpected reunion of a jilted ex-lover or angry celebrity who tried to sue their butt in court over some article in the National Enquirer I'm sure they really didn't think whatever they said or did was all that bad. So, it shouldn't bother them if the show provides them with your current residence at Chez Stalker and the phone number to the telephone by the side of your bed. If you answer the phone (which has no caller id) you might get an immunity award. If it's some of those people who happen to hate you, or obsessively love you, then guess what? You got to stay on the phone at least 10 minutes or you lose points.

So, now we're to the point system. How do paparazzi make points? Well, I would assume it has something to do with being photographers. So, we will have to have some challenges like team games where they get to stalk each other. The one with the most embarrassing photo of the opposing team or member of said team gets that photo posted on the reality TV show web site and it becomes the property of Boys or Girls Gone Wild forever after. That's why I think I'll keep the hot tub and the pool as part of the home's features. We need to add a lot of liquor too.

We must be sure to get a couple of paparrazi's that are in the middle of something really horrible - like the breakup of their marriage or maybe even a major illness. That would make great press for the reality TV show if they got caught having a mental breakdown! Ratings would soar!