Real-Life Jobs for Actress Jane Lynch

She's brazen, blunt, and more than just a little bit gross. She's the Queen of Inappropriate Innuendo and Political Incorrectness. Jane Lynch embodies all her smarmy characters wholeheartedly. According to her Hollywood filmography, she's been an electronics store manager ("The 40-Year Old Virgin") and an overzealous cheerleading coach ("Glee"), amongst dozens of other fictional professions. But deep down, we know that there is so much more that actress Jane Lynch could do. Here are some real life jobs that would be greatly enhanced by Jane's presence...

Airline Flight Attendant

Passengers wouldn't know whether to be frightened or amused by Jane Lynch's shameless PA announcements. Employed as an attendant on particularly long flights, Jane would be certain to run through the history of catastrophic plane crashes. But that's not all. If stories of cannabalistic survival don't intrigue you, then intimate tales of oddly-shaped rashes and bathtubs filled with gravy might do the trick. To say that Lynch "over-shares", would be an understatement.

CVS Pharmacy Checkout Clerk

Buy no condom, no breath mint, or hemorrhoid cream if Jane Lynch happens to be behind the counter at your local CVS Pharmacy. Let's face it: you're not shopping at the pharmacy for paper towels and bleach. These stores provide us with the remedies for our embarrassing little human afflictions. The last thing we want in a crowded checkout line is a clerk who announces our creams and ointments to the world.

Gynecologist

There are all sorts of reasons why you would probably never want Jane Lynch to be your gynecologist. Breaking all the rules of decency, Jane would regale you with stories of dates that end in the emergency room. You could also expect to be asked about your burgeoning bikini line, intimate piercings, or other-ahem-personal hygiene matters. For that matter, anything uncomfortable you could think of to discuss while you're in the stirrups would be considered idle chatter for Jane. (Let's move on...)

Children's Daycare Worker

Oh the lovely things your child will return home repeating, should he or she ever end up in a pre-school classroom with Jane Lynch. You may not have been ready to give the Birds and the Bees talk before. But if Lynch is your babysitter, you most certainly will have to. Couple that awkwardness with a newly-developed fear of green beans, and your precious little one will need more therapy than your healthcare plan allows.

Public Transit Bus Driver

This job wouldn't necessarily require Jane to do that much talking. But as a passenger on her bus, you can expect one or two deviations from your daily route. She'll take a minor detour, stopping in front of a nondescript yellow house with burglar bars on the windows-only to return with strange stains on her shirt and a shopping bag filled with "beach towels." (You really don't want to know...)

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