Rearview

retrospection is the enemy
overthinking, spinning webs
around the words
that hours ago were simple
nothings
made of smiles
and innuendo

every misstep made
through lifetimes past
comes raging up
to claim the now
to ravage it
to kill it
torture-slow

if i could lay out all the hands i've touched
play back all the voices heard
in darkness
in the cold

i'd know yours anywhere.

if i say something i shouldn't,
shut me up
if i try to cover up the truth with
spaces in our words
it can't be helped
and if i try to tell myself this isn't
anything i need
close my eyes for me
and make me stay.