Reasons to Avoid Christmas Gifts that Say 'Assembly Required'

Isn't it obvious? 'Assembly required' means you have to put something together before it can be used. Christmas morning is often a hectic, fast-paced, action-packed frenzy of present opening excitement. It's bad enough that you can't install a single battery in a toy without unscrewing the battery compartment anymore. Do you really want to take time away from the festivities to put something together? The average five-year old can hardly contain themselves during simple AAA battery installation - how do you reckon they'll take to waiting for you to learn how to read in French, German or Japanese and then figure out exactly where Slot B is so you can insert Tab A into it?

The truth is unless it's clothing or a stuffed animal everything under the Christmas tree will require some sort of tool. Scissors, screwdrivers, wire cutters... jack hammer. Packaging these days requires a degree from MIT to open and get the product out. Even Barbie and her long-suffering boyfriend Ken will be held captive by a series of strings, invisible rubber bands and sadistic metal twist ties. Opening a gift that requires assembly after you free it from it's prison of a box just adds insult to injury.

One of the pitfalls of 'assembly required' is exactly how much assembly is really required. Often the outside of the box will tell you what tools you need, and you may feel safe with something says all you need is a flat head screwdriver. Buyer beware! A child's two wheel bicycle with training wheels, irritating bell and louder than a sonic boom horn may require a "just a screwdriver"...for all 1025 of it's parts. With 'assembly required' you never know quite what you're getting into. You may need to fasten three screws or you may need a degree in engineering.

If you find yourself in a position of having something that needs to be put together you should get it out of the way before Christmas morning. And I'm not talking about 10p.m. on Christmas Eve after you've finally convinced your kids that unless they go to sleep Santa just won't show up. At that point he may show up but after getting only 2 hours of sleep because you were up until 4a.m. putting together the Barbie Dreamhouse Santa won't be very merry. The best plan of attack (do not be mistaken - this IS an attack) is to pull everything out of the box a week before in case you need tools you don't have....or that engineering degree. It's never too late to learn a new skill. If you can, put it together and hide it for a week. We're not living with Norman Rockwell but mom and dad's colorful expletives drowning out Santa's sleigh bells on Christmas Eve doesn't exactly spell good cheer.

Ok so maybe you don't have to completely avoid gifts and toys that require assembly if you just prepare for them. Unless you're planning on taking every gift out of it's packaging on Christmas Eve you're going to need tools on Christmas morning. Try and limit your workshop skills to freeing toys from their cardboard prisons and installing batteries in the morning. And if all else fails - keep the eggnog coming!