Reasons Not to Date a Friend

Let's face it, we have all had that one friend we knew would be perfect for us, but we didn't want to ruin the friendship by dating them. Instead of pondering what could have happened between you two, consider the following reasons for why dating a friend is a bad idea. We are not stating that dating a friend is a bad idea, but these reasons may make you wish to reconsider.

Ruin the Friendship

One of the biggest cons of dating a friend is that you could potentially lose the great friendship. A relationship takes the intimacy level of friendship to a new level, which by all accounts could easily ruin a friendship in the event of a breakup. Dating a friend may seem like a great idea because of all the fantasies you imagine, but when the relationship starts to get intimate it can be discomfited between the two of you.

Past Relationships

By all accounts, your friends know you the best, which includes your past relationships. As much as you think you will not be jealous of their past, you will. Knowing someone was with other people before they met you is one thing, but when you have known this person for an extended period it may be hard to get over the other people you know they dated. I am not a jealous person and was in this situation where the initial relationship between a girl who I have known for a while was amazing, but then the jealousy from both of us broke up the relationship. If you pursue a relationship with a close friend, be sure to be confident in yourself and not ruin it over jealousy.

Relationship vs. Friendship

A relationship is different from a friendship in the sense that intimacy is added to the friendship, thus making it a relationship. Intimacy between two friends can get complicated, it can be great to consummate the relationship between someone you have known for a while, but it can also raise mixed emotions.

Perspective

Let's face it, women view their close guy friends as brothers and men view their close girl friends as sisters. Of course, this is not always true, but in the case of a long childhood friendship, it generally is. Becoming intimate with someone you view as extended family can make things very complicated. From my experience, I have discounted nearly all girls that I have been friends with since my childhood because I view them more as sisters than a potential romantic fling. Everyone has different comfort levels, but be prepared for rejection based on this argument alone. If your friend rejects a relationship because of this perspective, you should not take it personally. Rather consider it a different perspective of the friendship.