Reasons to Plan a Small Wedding

The year I got married I went to seven weddings before mine. My wife and I got married in November, so from January to October we spent the whole year attending weddings, bachelor and bachelorette parties, showers, pre-wedding parties, bridal shows, and in and out of the tailor shops. It was an exhausting and expensive year to say the least. Some of the weddings were beautiful, others were funny, and all were exhausting and draining considering we were in the process of planning our own day of nuptials.

One common theme that most of the people after the wedding said was that they wished that they had done a smaller wedding. As a matter of fact, I don't think there was one of the couples who did not feel this way. After each ceremony they all were just glad that it was over with. This is one of the reasons that I love my wife. I saw early on that the wedding planning was beginning to stress her out, I was able to convince her to scale it down. The both of us are still very satisfied with the choice we made. Here are some reasons to plan a small wedding:

1. Large Weddings are Expensive: According to The Wedding Report, the average cost of weddings in the United States is $28,800, (reception included). That's the national average. In my city, Atlanta, the average is closer to $35,000. Even if you are doing pretty well financially, (and I am speaking from that category of people,) that is a lot of many to pay for an event that take total of maybe 4-5 hours. The wedding reception average is about $14,700. When my sister was paying for her wedding, she called her wedding "The Expensive Party," which essentially what it is-- a very expensive party.

2. The cost can be better invested: There is a lot you can do with $30,000. When the cake is gone and the music stops playing, then that's it. Was it worth it? For those who don't have a home to go to, that would have made a great downpayment. That could have even purchased a good honeymoon with money to spare. Rainy days will come, in your married future, do you have money stashed away for that rainy day? I can almost guarantee you, that unless your guest list includes names like, Trump, Kyosaki, Gates, and Buffet, chances are pretty good that you are not going to recover that amount in your gifts.

3. The Wedding is a Show, and you are the actors: One of the primary reasons that people crave a large wedding has little to do with their own desire than for the audience that will attend. They don't want for their family and friends to talk negatively about that wedding. Fact of the matter is, a week or so after the wedding, they won't remember it anyway. And about three to six months, the whole "high" would have been worn off for you as well when you have to start actually living life as a married couple. Don't get all stressed out over the big wedding and plans. The people who really love you will be there, and won't care about anything but how happy you are for finding such a great man or woman to spend your life with-- everyone else is there to be entertained and then to eat and dance. (There is always somebody in the wedding video that neither the bride nor the groom knows.)

4. You won't upset yourself or anyone else: I went to a wedding that had almost 40 people in the wedding party. I look over at my future-grandmother-in-law (at that time) and she said, how many people are in this wedding? She asked me how many would be in my wedding. I told her just two-- me and her granddaughter. When you have to choose between who will be in your wedding, all the claws come out. Don't put yourself through all that.

5. Plan for a marriage, not for a wedding: This is my main point, if you really want to have a large wedding, then do it. But make sure you spend more of your time preparing and planning a marriage. After the "expensive party" is over, you still have to live together as husband and wife, which is not an easy task, especially the first year. So I advise you to go get pre-marital counseling and ask and answer plenty of questions between the two of you. Prepare to be married and then you can be comfortable having a smaller wedding.

You won't regret it later.

-Live Intentionally, Die Empty

Beau