Reasons You Shouldn't Have a "Friends with Benefits" Arrangement with an Ex

When a long term relationship reaches an end, being alone can be quite a shock to the system. Suddenly there is nobody at home to share your problems or your joys with and you have to get used to preparing dinner for one. Those things can take a while to adjust to, but they aren't always the hardest part. Missing the physical side of a relationship is one of the more difficult aspects after a break-up. Sometimes this can lead to "arrangements" being made with an ex to satisfy your needs. It might sound like a good idea at first, but in the long run, it will only lead to more problems.

Reasons You Shouldn't Have a "Friends With Benefits" Arrangement With An Ex

Unresolved feelings

For some people, a friends with benefits arrangement may be just that. But when you make this kind of deal with an ex, it isn't quite the same thing. There is a strong chance that one of you may still be harbouring unresolved feelings. Sleeping together generally gives the false hope that those feelings may lead to something more. Even if you don't have feelings left when you make the arrangement, having sex with someone you used to love will usually trigger them to start again. The truth is, even if you got back together, your relationship wouldn't be any better the second time around unless you address what went wrong the first time. Don't confuse a great physical connection with love. They aren't always the same thing.

Risk to sexual health/unexpected pregnancy

Are you really the only person your ex is sleeping with? The chances are, your former partner may be taking sex wherever it is offered and you can't be sure they are always using protection. Even if you are careful, there is still a small risk of contracting an STD. There is also the possibility of an accidental pregnancy. In a committed relationship, an unplanned pregnancy is hard to deal with. Imagine how much harder it would be with someone you have already had a failed relationship with. Be responsible with your decisions as they can impact the rest of your life.

Stops you moving forward

If you have all other aspects of your life sorted out and you are having regular sex, where is the incentive to move forward? You may find that you don't make any effort to meet someone new if you are happy with your arrangement with your ex. But what happens when your ex moves on and leaves you behind? You will still have a lot of relationship baggage to sift through. Baggage which could have been sorted out if you hadn't been busy "getting busy" with your ex.

All in all, sleeping with an ex is unlikely to lead to anything good. At the very least it could stir up old feelings that are probably best left alone, but some of the other possibilities could be life changing. Instead of focusing your time and energy on a relationship that has already passed, try to think about moving forwards instead.