Reasons Why Your Kindergartner May Not Listen to You

Kindergartners all vary in temperament but many of them are quite intelligent and can hold deep conversations with adults. Some of them even seem to be small adults at times with their ability to observe and negotiate for their benefit. These children are a bit more independent and are very curious. They tend to push buttons more and test their caretaker's patience. Although these children obtain the vocabulary to express themselves and to explain to others what they need they still have their moments when they act out and throw tantrums.

Children who throw tantrums are usually viewed as out of control and bad when in many situations it is the parent who is at the forefront of all of this madness. There are many things that parents do (without realizing it) that affect the child's emotions and cause them to have tantrums. Caretakers should look below at the following advice if your child seems to throw tantrums often and you do not know why.

1. The child is not getting enough attention. Children need attention. They actually thrive off of it. When children receive attention they feel valued and loved. Parents sometimes forget to give their children attention because they become occupied with their own work schedules. Children who do not get the attention that they seek will intentionally act out to get their parent's attention. Children will take attention anyway they can get it even if it is negative. Parents should be sure to give the children at least 30 minutes to an hour of their undivided attention each day.

2. The parent may get too tense and impatient before and during the tantrum. Children make great receptors and they feed off of their parent's energy. If their parents respond negatively they will also. If their parents respond positively they will do the same. Some parents exude a great deal of stress at the onset of the tantrums because of their own stress and also because they know what they result of their child's whiny behavior will be. When the child sees that mommy or daddy is frustrated he will cry louder and kick and scream more. If parents remain calm the child will slowly become calmer. Parents should try their best to be calm but firm when their child starts a tantrum as well as during the child's tantrum.

3.The parent is not flexible enough. There are many different styles of parenting. While being firm is a good parenting method because it teaches kids consistency and consequence, it can be bad if the parent is firm all of the time. Parents should remember that children are children and they will not always exhibit the behavior that you want them to. It is important to allow children some free time to have fun here and there. That fun could be as a simple as; a sweet treat, a day out to the amusement park, or a trip to the store to buy a toy. Parents should give their children room to breathe because if they do not their children will act out through tantrums and purposeful behavior in attempt to be freer.

4. The parent does not pick his own battles properly. Some parents are very hands on and want to ensure their children understand the parental hierarchy; the parents make the rules and the children listen. These parents often want to control every situation in which the child acts out but this may not be good to do so because the child will never get a chance learn how to express his or her emotions such as frustration and anger. These parents will create a power struggle where no one wins. Parents need to let small things go and save their reprimanding and intervention for those more serious moments.

5. There is not enough structure in the child's environment. This is a major factor in a child's tantrum and why they may not listen well. Children need a healthy structured environment and if they do not have this they will act in a displeasing way. It is important for parents to establish an atmosphere that is consistent with daily schedules so that the child knows what to expect. A child that knows what to expect is one that will be well prepared. He knows what is up ahead and so has no true reason to become anxious. Parents should remember that since children do not have a great concept of time, routines are very important to establish in the home.

6. The child is not in the top shape health. Children that do not get the correct amount of sleep or nourishment (food) will become very cranky and grouchy. These children will appear moody and will not do as you say. Kindergarteners should get somewhere near 10-12 hours of sleep a day and they also need three small snacks and three meals a day. Parents need to make sure that their child is healthy and feeling well.

7. The child is bored. When children are bored and not stimulated enough they will start to act out. Children have short attention spans and roaming minds. They need activities that will lasso their energy and contain it for some time. Parents and caretakers need to be sure that their children's environment is stimulating for the child and this often means switching the activities up a bit.