Reasons Why You Should Not Spy on Your Kids
What it Will Take Not to Spy
Parents, usually, don't have the "privacy" and "spying" issues until their kids hit the tween/teenager stages. In my opinion, the teen stage is where our parenting skills are most sorely tested, because this is the time that most teenagers are ultra-sensitive and dramatic. I know I was. Probably the most difficult thing to do is to let go and trust our teenagers, especially when we see them making decisions or their behavior is what we consider "questionable".
So how do we keep from spying? Well, from personal experience, the key is to have an open, honest relationship with your teenager; and there are 2 ways to have that. One, is to have communication open between the parent and the teenager. As I was growing up, my mom and I had a great relationship. I felt that I could go to her with anything and any question that I had, with no judgment and no fear that I would get in trouble. She didn't pressure me, she didn't spy on me (far as I know), and, most importantly, she loved me for who I am. And that's what we have to remember as parents. In order for parents to have a good relationship with their kids, they must communicate. If we want to know what's going on with them, ask. If we want to know how they're doing, ask. Parents shouldn't have to spy; we should and do have the right to ask outright what is going on in their lives.
Another important way to have a good relationship with your teenager, therefore not having to spy is to be involved with your teenager's life. Some good ways of doing this is by asking and knowing all their friends names, know and participate, if possible, in their school activities. Be supportive and best yet, let them know that you'll always love them, no matter what. We have to love and trust in our kids. We have to let them know that we are there when they're ready to come to us with anything and everything that is on their minds. Most importantly, we must show them that we trust them to act responsibly and respectfully, by treating them as young ladies and gentlemen, and not little kids.
Published by Candice
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3 Comments
Post a CommentTo the idiots that say they will spy on your kids.
Did you really fail that badly at parenting them?
I mean, if you are a good parent and did what you are supposed to then you shouldn't need to be spying on your kids.
it doesn't matter if kids have minds of their own. If raised properly they will not do stupid things.
The fact that they are and you are spying on them means that you failed somewhere along the lines.
Instead of defending your bad parenting own up to the fact that you can't parent worth a damn.
....it's the human condition. The ONLY way they learn where those boundaries MUST stop is by being shown the limits of safety and acceptability, and that is only achieved by hands on, active, parenting, not your so called 'open relationship'.. which as much as we would all want it to be, simply isn't a reality.. and quite frankly never has been.
Any parent who says they have a fully open and honest relationship with their children (and remember we are not on this Earth to be friends to our children, but have taken upon ourselves, and are obligated by, a responsbility to parent our children through their learning years)... are either shirking their duties as an adult and parent, deluding themselves or outright lying.
With your woefully and inadequate views of the reality of parenthood, you are ridiculously ill-qualified to administer advise on this subject.
Find yourself a recipe column, or better yet, give up public writing altogether, it is not your forte.
There is NO privacy any longer and if I'm not allowed it in my life, I'll be damned if I let my kids have free reign when they are at a time when hands on guidance is most needed...because they ARE children.. ESPECIALLY, when my motives for 'spying' (..and fyi..it ISN'T spying, it's called BEING A PARENT) on my kids are more sensible and altruistic than the motives of the governements and corporations who have full legal rights over the information in my life.
People like you are a danger.. under the guise of 'reasonable and moral' you spread your BLATENTLY and DEMONSTRABLY untrue point of view of the world, all the while everthing falls to hell in a hand basket.
I WILL guarantee you this... without a question of a doubt, your children get up to things that would make your hair curl.. exactly the same way you did things that would severely upset your parents...that's what kids do, they grow up pushing the boundaries, it's the human condition. The ONLY way they learn where those b