Reasons Why You Should Spy on Your Kids

Let's face it. Parenting is tough nowadays. When your kids get into their tweens and the teenager years, they all of a sudden feel grown up. Despite all your training, counseling and lessons, they still want to have some freedom. That is a major issue though, how much freedom do you, as parents give them? For parenting to work, you have to have a strong bond of trust with your kids. If you feel that you know your kids well, then there is no need to resort to spying. But if you suspect their behavior to be different than normal, it might be a good time to spy on them.

First, try to determine if you have good reasons to spy on your tween or teen. Asking their friends for information might not work, they could very well tell your kids! If you notice things like your kids grades dropping, sleeping in more than normal, or your kids outside all day, take notice. Eliminate the obvious reasons, like practice for sports, school club activity, or going to bed late. Ask your kids, why are they going to sleep late? Is school stressful lately? If you get reasonable answers, then there is probably nothing to worry about. If you get short, mundane answers without any explanations, then it's time to spy.

Tell your spouse what is going on. It's best that only one of you do the spying. To be an effective spy, there is no need for the Columbo look. A trench coat is sure to stick out easily. Dress casually. Try to determine where your kids will be, and how long. If they are going to a friends house, park your vehicle down the block, not across from their house. Try to note how your tween or teens demeanor before they enter. When they leave compare it to what they looked like before. Is it the same? Do they look happier? Are their clothes the same or are they crushed and disheveled? Look to see if they go to a place that is unfamiliar to you. Who do they really hang out with? Their friends or older persons? Try to determine if your kids are the center of attention, follow others, or is bossy. Look for behavior that is not normal for your tweens or teens. If they like to go to the mall, spying will be easier. Follow your kids at a safe distance. Don't wear clothes that your kids will easily recognize. When they walk around, see if they are trying to attract the opposite sex, or causing trouble. Wanting attention means something is lacking at home, or they might be influenced by their friends.

There is a reason for all of this. If your kids come out of a house with a member of the opposite sex and they are hugging each other or kissing, it is safe to assume that your kids are sexually active. If you spy your kids emerging out of a house or area moving slower that normal, or laughing a lot, it's safe to assume that there is drug practice going on. If they have a cell phone and are arranging plans to meet someone somewhere else, follow them. This could lead to a number of things, so you have to make sure to spy extra hard.

The reason in the first place that you are spying on your kids is that you suspect them of something, right? Undoubtedly, this will change your relationship with your teens or tweens. To make your bond with them stronger, ask them questions related to where they have been. It has to be subtle though. For example, ask if they would like to go with you to a garage sale that is on the same street where they go. Look at their face for their reaction. If they try to avoid going there or don't want to go, ask them why not. Their answer might provide you with some clues. At this point you can ask them if they did anything interesting this week. If they mention the same old things, then this behavior might have been going on for awhile. If after a few tries to find out what they are up to are unsuccessful, you can tell your kids that you know they have been to a particular address. After the confession, you can begin to fix the bond between your kids and you.

Parenting is easier if you can completely trust your kids. This way, there is no need for spying. If you are there for them as much as you can, show genuine interest in their activities and lives, the are more likely to open up to you more. Bad influences will have a less chance of taking your kids time and attention away.

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