Rebooking WWE Survivor Series 2011

The reason Survivor Series was one of my favorite wrestling pay-per-views growing up was due to the elimination matches. Back in 1987 and 1988, each event consisted of four elimination matches each. More fun was added the next two years when adorable team names were used. These days we're lucky if we get even one elimination match on the annual card as proven by the fact that this year there is only one scheduled. But what if the WWE decided to return to the original format now in 2011? Here's a hypothetical card built exclusively with five on five elimination bouts...

Blacks vs. Whites
Mark Henry (captain), Kofi Kingston, JTG, Ezekiel Jackson, and R-Truth
vs.
John Cena (captain), Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, and Cody Rhodes

Obviously the blacks would have to win or WWE would probably face a public relations disaster (in addition to the bad PR for booking this match to begin with). JTG survives because he seems like a nice guy.
Winners: Blacks

Team Tattooed Idiots vs. Team Overrated Jerks:
Undertaker (captain), Randy Orton, CM Punk, Santino Marella, and Brodus Clay
vs.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley (captain), Zack Ryder, Mike Mizanin, John Morrison, and Mason Ryan

Unlike Santino, who fits the team name perfectly, I don't really think CM Punk is an idiot at all. I happen to actually be a huge fan of his. In fact, he's probably the most intelligent man ever to step foot in a WWE ring thanks to his straight edge life style. I'm just not a huge fan of tattoos in general, unless you need them to cover a flaw like backne or something then I guess they can be useful.
Punk and Taker survive.
Winners: Tattooed Idiots

Models vs. Workers:
Smelly Kelly (captain), Eve Torres, Bella 1, Bella 2, and Alicia Fox
vs.
Beth Phoenix (captain), Natalya, AJ, Tamina, and Kharma

Clearly Kharma would have to take a seat somewhere at ringside and not enter the match since she's pregnant and all. The rest of her team survives.
Winners: Workers

Team Chris' Faves vs. Team Charisma:
Alberto Del Rio (captain), Wade Barrett, Christian, Tyson Kidd, and William Regal
vs.
Daniel Bryan (captain), Micheal McGillicutty, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and David Otunga

I put my favorites in the main event for no reason other than that they're my personal faves. The entertaining characters on Team Charisma lack star power so this looks a lot more like an opener. In fact the whole card makes more sense the other way around so let's just pretend I posted this upside down. My faves all survive ♥.
Winners: Chris' faves

Now that's a card with huevos.