Recent Study Reveals Those With Self-Compassion Recover From Divorce More Quickly

If you have been through a divorce, you know the emotional baggage it brings. You feel alone and think no one understands what you're going through. You question what you could have done differently. You might even kick yourself for all the mistakes you made.

Oh, if only you could go back and correct just one or two things you did. And, of course, you might have even held on tight to all those negative, hurtful worries and anxieties about what your life would be like after the divorce.

Hopefully, you have been able to recover from your divorce experience. The good news is that researchers are now seeking to find what positive personal characteristics best help people cope with a divorce. And do you know what they found? Self-compassion is the key to reducing the devastating impact a divorce can have on your life.

Definition of Self-Compassion

University of Arizona researchers are studying divorce and how people's personal characteristics help them survive it. Self-compassion has three elements (Self-Compassion website). The first is the belief that your experiences are part of all human experiences and therefore, occur for many people. The second element of self-compassion is the capacity to treat yourself with care and kindness. Finally, the third element of self-compassion is the ability to let go of hurtful feelings.

So, no doubt about it, if you are self-compassionate, it's a good thing. You believe that others have been through what you've been through. You know you're not alone. You treat yourself with kindness and you can release negative feelings.

Recent Research on Self-Compassion

According to the US News website, University of Arizona researchers conducted a study on 105 people with an average age of 40 who have gone through a divorce after being together for at least 13 years. The study participants had all been through a divorce within the last 6 months. Those conducting the study wanted to look at what personal characteristics are most likely to help people cope better while going through divorces.

Researchers looked for various positive characteristics, such as optimism (being positive), self-esteem (feeling good about yourself), and the capacity to have easy relationships. Interestingly, the study found that the characteristic having the most positive impact on those dealing with the aftereffects of a divorce was having compassion for yourself (US News website).

The U of A researchers theorize that when you have self-compassion, you're more resilient-you can more easily bounce back from the worry and stress of a divorce. Since we now know that self-compassion is the key to coping well with divorce, we can educate people experiencing crises in their relationships about developing self-compassion. Plus, therapists can encourage clients to cultivate the characteristics of self-compassion-believing you're not alone in your experience, treating yourself kindly and turning loose of negative emotions.

How is your own Level of Self-Compassion?

Why not ponder how you're doing when it comes to self-compassion. When something upsetting happens to you, do you recognize you're not alone in your experience and that others have gone through similar situations?

How do you treat yourself? Do you like yourself and feel you're worthy of your own kindness?

Can you let go of upsetting feelings and simply let them float away?

To take a test to determine your level of self-compassion, see this link.

Regardless of whether you've experienced a divorce, developing self-compassion will help you live a happier, more fulfilling life. You'll cope more successfully with troublesome experiences. Do everything you can to cultivate self-compassion.

Sources

Professional experience

Self-Compassion website

US News website