Recent Survey on Youth Loneliness Revealed!

Recent survey on youth's loneliness, revealed! Joanna was an attractive 15-year-old and very popular with both boys and girls. She appeared to be happy, enjoying an abundance of companionship. Her life was cut short by the blast of a double-barreled shotgun-by her own hand. She left the note: "Love is not being lonely anymore. Boredom hurts."

Why would a person like Joanna, so surrounded with friends, feel lonely?

Simply Being Alone Is Not Necessarily Being Lonely

Many persons cherish some solitude so they can reflect and meditate. However, all persons have a basic need to communicate their feelings to another who will indicate an interest. When this desire to share the intimate concerns of one's heart is frustrated, loneliness is the result.

We can easily see, then, how one could be lonely in a crowd, or even with a multitude of superficial acquaintances. Loneliness exists when there is no response from others, when we feel that we are not wanted or must carry our emotional loads alone.

There are legitimate reasons for loneliness. A mate or an intimate friend may die. No question about it-you are going to feel lonely. Divorce will also spawn loneliness. One woman describes such agony:

"I am in the middle of a divorce that I did not want and never expected to happen. My husband has left me. My agony at this time is so great that sometimes I wish I were dead. I don't feel I will ever get over this, especially at 4 a.m. when I wake up and realize once again that I've been abandoned and I am ALONE."

If you move into new surroundings, perhaps far from close friends, loneliness may well follow. There is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. It is normal and to be expected. One authority said:

"Once you accept loneliness as a perfectly human feeling, the lonely feelings will almost certainly pass. They will be replaced by another kind of mood or feeling. It is a fact of life that these feelings will come and go. Not accepting this fact, expecting to live in a constant state of euphoria, will only result in disappointment or bitterness."-Theodore I. Rubin.

It is not a matter of never feeling lonely, but of not being overwhelmed by it. However, knowing what causes loneliness is one thing, finding an answer is another.

Often the typical response to a lonely person is: "What's wrong with you? You don't have to be lonely. Go out. Join a club. Get busy and do something!" The entire blame for the loneliness is laid on the victim's shoulders.