Reconciliation:

" I never wanted to see or hear from you again" she shouted to her boyfriend. He tried; he asked if he could study the scripture with her and he tried, he asked if he could at least go to church with her. The same church she had previously invited him to. She refused, she wanted to have nothingat all to with him for more than 20 (Twenty) years. She claim's it is God's will for her life. Is her position scriptural? The answer is no. Let's look at Matt. 5:21-24

" Ye have heard that it was said to them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: but I say unto you, that every one who is angry with his brother shall be in danger of the judgment; and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of the hell of fire. If therefore thou art offering thy gift at the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way, first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." Matt. 5:21-24 NASB (New American Standard Bible)

Some people look at the next couple of verses in this passage and say it is about discipline. The passage is not about discipline. This passage is about reconciliation, not discipline. Discipline is only a small part of it, and it is not necessary if both (or all) parties will reconcile as the passage instructs. This passage says that reconciliation is more important than the offering and the tithe (your gift). This passage gives 3 steps to reconciliation.

Step 1) Go to the person, in person and individually, if that does not work go to step 2.

Step 2) Take 2 or 3 people with you and try to work things out. If that does not work, go to step 3.

Step 3) Go to the church. It is irrelevant whether you are an official member of the "church" you go to or not. In the example above the best church for the "boyfriend" to go to is his girlfriend's church. The reason for this, it is the one she is most likely to listen to.

But sometimes in step 3, the church leaders ignore this step because they do not want to deal with the person properly. They want to brush off his legitimate concerns and pretend they have no responsibility. The fact that the two were dating is irrelevant, dating and romance is not the issue. The issue is scriptural reconciliation.

Not only is it not the will of God to refuse to reconcile with someone, it is exactly the opposite of God's will. To refuse to have anything at all to do with someone is anti-God's will.

As Christians, God, through his Son Jesus Christ, reconciled us to himself and we should follow that example. A Christian does not have a moral or ethical right to tell someone "I never want to see or hear from you again ever" and mean it.