Recycling the Ex: How to Break the Habit

It's not uncommon to hear that someone is hanging out with an ex again even long after the breakup happened. While it is not impossible for the two individuals to work on their problems, get back together and make it work, many times it is just recycling an ex. One or both parties may not realize it's happening or they could also say that using each other is completely acceptable. Chances are it will only hurt one or both individuals if boundaries aren't put into place.

While there is nothing wrong being purely just friends with an ex, if you are treating him or her like a date, are still having intimate encounters and are essentially acting like you are somewhat still together, that's when a problem ensues. Many times it happens due to the comfort level, lingering feelings or reminiscing that occurs; some may not even realize it's happening until after awhile. If you want to break the habit but aren't sure how to, some simple steps can help you move on to someone that isn't so...old news.

Explain Your Position

If you two are getting along, there's no reason to pull away without an explanation which could just completely confuse the person. Discuss that it may not be best to continue on the path you are on considering you are broken up and that you feel that it would be better to stay more on the friends side. If your ex cares about you, he or she will understand.

Set Your Boundaries

Simply stating how you feel isn't enough; you need to put boundaries into place to make sure that things don't continue the way they have been. For example, avoid hanging out on Friday and Saturday nights, which are typically date nights. Completely stop all intimate encounters and cut down on communication.

Cut all Ties if Necessary

If setting boundaries doesn't work and you still find yourself in the same position, it may be time to cut ties. This is for your best interest so you can move onto someone that you work better with. Having a confusing relationship with your ex, or one where you two seem to be together but aren't, may only hinder being able to move onto someone else.

Meet New People

One of the reasons you may be hanging out with your ex is because you are lonely, it's comfortable or feel like you don't have the same connection with someone else. You might feel that way now, but chances are things will change in the future if you give them the chance to. Go out and meet new people; you never know when the next person you meet could be a much better fit for you than your ex ever was.

Having your ex around may be convenient and temporarily feel great, but if neither of you have any intention of getting back together, hanging out with each other might not be the best idea until you both can be strictly friends. It will probably be difficult to pull away and change things, but chances are it will be in the best interest for both of you.