Redneck Ridicule
What Posesses People to Ridicule a Redneck?
You have more junk cars in your pasture than cattle...
You pass gas at the table to make room for more fried chicken...
You brag to the neighbors about how your Mother-In-Law puts you to shame when SHE passes gas...
You achieve the "Best In Show" title for the 9th year in a row in the local "Best Mullet Contest"...
Your Wife was the runner-up all those years...
Your family had a funeral for the mullet of your 4 year old son, after he got a hold of the scissors...
You wonder if the little town o'er yonder still has a pop machine by the old gas station...
You are asked to butcher a pig for the neighbor and you do it in the front yard....from START to finish...
You don't need insect repellent or rodent traps because you haven't showered "in awhile"...
You have cars in the front yard that are on blocks, and were lifted there by your wife and mother...
You made the kids take the tires off those cars while you drank a 12 pack on the front porch...
You think you live in a mansion because all 3 of the mobile homes you own are "hooked up"...
Your dog won't go within 8.3 feet of your boots once you take them off...
You sleep in your boots more often than not...
Your truck wouldn't start so you drove your lawnmower 4 miles to buy off-sale...
You and your wife drive an 18-wheeler to the bank to get a loan...
Your pickup has 12" stacks, but your 18-wheeler only has 8's...
Your pickup is louder than the Jake brake on your 18-wheeler...
You eat sardines and horseradish for breakfast...
You send your 8 year old daughter out with the dog and a 12 gauge to get some lunch...
You learned how to make illegal beverages when you were 5...
You think a designer dog is a dog that has a bow in its hair...
You think the Internet is when your fishing nets get tangled up...
You DRINK moonshine but COOK with Jim Beam, Jack Daniels, or Wild Turkey...
We could go on and on all day, while the deer and the antelope play. But, for now, I'll give those rednecks a rest and pick it up another fine day!
Published by M Carlsrud
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